Ashley's

360

2011-01-22T08:21:00.001-08:00

Today, my life changed 360 degrees.
There's no free lunch in this world, even happiness has a price to pay.
I am seriously not pointing fingers at anyone..
Trying to slp to forget all those unhappy things again but failed unfortunately..
This time, I didn't cry. But it felt even worst then crying, it's like everything is compress into a small thing in my stomach.
So I tried to force myself to, but it's not really working so.. It's quite bad.

Everyone's treating my feelings like hotel, comes and go. It was my fault, I knew they was just playing with my feelings, I know. He even warn me before, indirectly. I remember every word he says so damn clearly. Yet, I still choose to step into shyt. I was happy, but not for long, and I'm paying it all back now, obviously.

I mean nothing to him, maybe even a bunch of grass in his garden would mean would mean smth to him, but nt me. I'm nt even a damn friend of his, im just nothing.

Lord, maybe I Shldnt even ask for your help now. I only talk to you when I need help, I'm so selfish.. Trying to live my own way all along.. Hurting other people, hurting myself.. I Duno what I'm doing.. I feels like I'm just a stupid, naive, horrible little girl, so ashame of myself..

Nobody cares. Really.

2011-01-13T06:49:00.000-08:00

Today's me and bibi's 1st anniversary.
but i didn't felt happy at all.
its suppose to be a fun day, but smth deep inside feels so irritated..

i feel that everyone is drifting apart from me..
every friends i know is going away from me,
i dunno how to continue establishing relationships with them,
they dun seems to want to.

i feel so down, i duno why..
feel like giving up.

心恢恢

2010-11-24T06:54:00.001-08:00

Really quite disappointed again. Hate the fact that I'm actually living in hk.
I feel like I'm totally incapable of doing anything, I cant even purchase a 10 dollar thing on blogshop.
Only can ask him or ask fren.. Totally useless,
Then friend ask them help too much so paiseh.
Sandy dun even bother to reply when I asked -.- (Coz already asked her help me buy 2 dresses)
I mean can't really be blamed since if it's me I would have done the same..
But nw even my own bf conclude that Coz the paying method is troublesome so he gave up.
Maybe it's because of my lousy social skills that end up so pathetic..
The world is merely build on money.. Who would waste their time if there isn't a benefit? Sigh.
Where's all those love that once exist?
He say we can start over again..
Can we?
It seems so impossible to me as everyday pass..
Should I continue hoping?..
Why is everyone so selfish? Even Ppl that are so close to me..
God, I'm Lost.. Do you really exist?
This world is really turning destructive.. Devils took over everyones heart.. Where are you? Can't you do smth to help everyone? Can you take me away too? T.T

Scared

2010-11-06T06:27:00.001-07:00

I feel like I'm back to the past.
Where I got I person I want, but nt happy with him.
Is my love really nt enough for him?
I'm crying again everyday, I'm scare to talk to him.
I'm scare to tell him what I feel, coz I know he won't be happy to know how I'm feeling.

i know im so selfish, i write stupid shyt like this even through i know he would see.
Sorry bi.. if i hurt you, sorry....

2010-11-05T08:58:00.000-07:00

I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
I FEEL SO UNHAPPY,
AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY.
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...........

2010-11-04T07:31:00.000-07:00

Homework half done, i dunno how to face tmr.

Hug Koko and cry with her in the hot running water,
she seems to be same as me.
Nobody cares about her, nobody really needs her, nobody plays with her.

i want Sandy's shoulder, Ruth shoulder, Daphy's shoulder.
Just a hug, it would made such a big impact to me.
I wish that things was just the same as the past,
so that i won't be so afraid if i fall.
Cause, there's someone there.
But they're all far far away, a place that I couldn't be there.

I don't have the ability to open up,
and find another shoulder for myself.
Koko's what I left here.

2010-11-04T06:17:00.001-07:00

The duno how many'th arguments.
i know we couldn't continue much longer.
The day is near, quite near, none of us wants it to come,
I believe.

Not because we don't love each other,
not because we are unfaithful.
I know both of us are trying very hard to mend it,
but im really running out of hope.
I always try to be silent, ignoring nowadays.
it is really not a good sign.

Love, maybe just not enough.
Love needs forgiveness and understanding.
My fault maybe, since none of my relationship really works out more then a year.
tried to change it.

Hais, i dont understand him.
He doesnt understand me.
Maybe im just scare of losing him, coz after that i dunno how to live on.
All alone without any support.
I feel so scare..

2010-10-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

We are arguing almost 4-5 days in a row now.
anyway, i lost count. just everyday.
i wonder if it would becomes a phenomenon.

it hurts me, i get sorry sometimes when i know im in no wrong.
but i know just simple words we could end it a day.
i dont know how long it i can last.

He is speaking to me lesser and lesser time everyday.
not even 2 minutes or 1 today.
when he was the one that complains that i always dont call him to chat wen he's working.
today's abit different.
He said it was his fault, that he wants my attention or smth.
thats not the point.
i cried. Of coarse, he didn't know that. since it is just a minute's time of interacting.

I am the one changing, or is it him?
And my mother is talking damn loud now.

2010-10-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

this is just a deserted blog that no one cares anymore.
this is so miserable.
well i will visit you sometimes i think <:

irritated. always come to this page then duno what to say.
today i bought my koko new stuffs (:
got sweet corn, expensive bedding, toilet sand and mineral stone?
haha. i know i had to save for iphone..
but i dunwan to buy a life and just let her suffer in the poor small box.
sigh, i always had this guilt that like i just destroy a small animal's future.
shldnt had buy her at the first place.

me and bibi's relationship had definitely gone off the drain.
i dunwan our relationship to be just as fragile as the others.
but i really cant deny that it is.
what can i do.. i really put alot of effort and hope into this relationship,
i wan to show my mother that this is not just a puppy love.
can i ? im not as sure as i am before anymore.

hais what is my future going to be like...........
so miserable and unclear.

2010-09-24T02:31:00.000-07:00

Looking at this blank page again, dunno how to start.
so many things in my mind, so little things to express out.

today i called him late when im going to sch coz i chatted with my friends on the bus,
and though it was okay to call him once i go down the bus.
of coarse, it was just my imagination and me thinking it was okay.

he made a big fuss about it again, and i hung up angrily.
So after school, once i on the phone i waited for awhile for msgs.
none came.
abit disappointed i called him and acted as if nothing happened.
and of coarse he couldnt do the same and continue fussing about it.

okay fine, so i apologized.
so we went fine for awhile and things started again.
he started talking very rudely to me about the morning matter again,
and many thoughts started to enter my mind at the same time.

Fortunately, god saved me by auto disconnect our phone call.
so i wouldnt need to embarrass myself though the phone itself.
tears started to foam in my eyes, and i had used up my tissues in school,
and somehow a piece of tissue appear in my pocket, save my life again.

He really did changed alot, maybe that feelings goes same for him too.
i cant deny that i didnt.

isn't when two person know eachother more and longer, then they won't love each other as much as before?
the ugly side of them start to show because the rest are just pretense?
because they feel that everything is meant to be?

if its the him last time if i say i want an iphone, he would have at least say ok i buy for you next time.
now, he wont even bother to say and start saying i love to waste money, blah.
if last time i tell him i want to chat with my friends awhile thats why call late, he wouldn't have had that super big reaction, i mean its not like im talking to boys or whatever bad stuffs -o-
recently he also starts to suggest break ups, i don't know what motivates him to, maybe its just me. but i never says it, and he did, not once, but thrice.

is it really my problem?
i tried to be the bad guy and apologise and hong him what..
why am i so selfish? why is he so selfish?
im feeling so unhappy everyday now, theres always something new.
how am i going to spend the rest of my life feeling like this..
suddenly feel like my mother is right for the first time again.

Doraemon ah Doraemon, help me ):
i want last time de me, last time de him, last time de place.
can you give me????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@

2010-09-22T08:19:00.001-07:00

i've lost the ability to blog. -.-

Can't help but to admit that im still living in the past.

i want to have that freedom, i want to have those friends and days back.
it is painful sometimes, but so hard to forget.
the days when im just fooling around in school with weili and gangs,
copying homework together.

that's call life.
what now is totally not life okay.

i totally forget to hand in my eng lit homework before shanghai.
until like days later.
that's stupid, and irresponsible.
and i hand it in before i even see the teacher's comment.
so i just commit the same mistake again
THATS VERY STUPID.

This is just not my country, i had totally no obsession in living here at all.
even after like almost a year.
i prefer that maple illusion life style when i get a whole lot of buddy online talking to me in fm20.
thats time consuming and not bored at all.

i just bought a camera not long ago, and im getting bored of it already.
somehow.
i suddenly feel like im just wasting money on my own desire,
to fulfill some missing piece from me.
i didnt really need it, and now im looking for a better one already.
Like the iPhone 4, and that big camera <:

and my father is happily buying me what i desire,
thats coz he want to fulfill me for what he cannot provide when other father could.
well, i can feel it, i appreciate it.
just not enough. its never enough. neverending stuff that i want, neverending stuff that people invent.
i even think of buying that kind of terrace house next time.

thats just a dream, i know it. an illusion, a fantasy. that will never come true.
i know i know, yet i dont know.

so, i dont know how to please him, when i cant please my deep self.
he is good, nice, very good, very nice.
just a sorry, yet my princess attitude wont allow me to anymore.
i can't find a fault in myself, how to say sorry to others?
although i might just forget about it the next day,
but somehow pride wont let me. such a failure. -........................- sigh

2010-07-29T06:53:00.000-07:00

I wonder when he's going to wake up.
quite a sad day today i must say.

otherwise i wont blog right? ):
sigh.

2010-07-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

It hurts so much when you knonw the person you love didnt really understand you..

my hearts hurt so much that i dont even want to voice out anything.
so disappointed..
to him all i was doing are wrong, every thing i tried to do is wrong.
i want to explain, but gave up knowing that it is useless anyway.
my existence in his life just add more stress to his life,
make him have lesser time to sleep.

at least this is what i understand from my perspective, from what he says..
i dont know is it my fault or not, for being too irritating and sticky.
i wanted to hide all those sad feelings to myself and talk to him again,
but i couldnt do it.
i cant bring myself to pretend that i feels okay when im not.

love can bring you to heaven, so is hell.
i love the heaven feelings too much ):

2010-07-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

i think i am too impulse on buying baby just because of my own desire,
when i know i dont have the ability to take care of her.

2010-07-05T03:44:00.000-07:00

me and baby's new love :D
our daughter! she's sooooooo cute!!! hehehe.
Her name is Queenie, Breed: Japanese Spitz
her home located in Singapore.

that's why i only can stare at her in the webcam everyday ):
can't wait to touch her la!
15 more days to our first meet):
she's going to fetch me from the airport <:

2010-06-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you are just so happy that you feel lost.
it doesnt make any sense, neither does many things in this world.

2010-05-30T02:49:00.000-07:00

ashleylau is here coz im bored.
:B

hehehehe.
okay, im sad not happy.
coz baby is on the plane now, not coming to see me but going home. ):
need to wait another 2 weeks before we meet again..
i need more money!!!@

hehe, okay i went ocean park with him ytd.
im so happy!
except smth happened in the middle.
but those dolphins are sooooo cute omgzxzx, hahaha.
my mother treat him quite nicely, just wish july faster come
T_T

okay, photots uploaded in facebook,
go see it yourself :D
tata!

2010-05-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

it had been decades since i last blogged. :B
NO EMO POSTSSSSSS I PROMISE!!

heheheh, okay, errerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
post what ah. duno ley.
-o- , countdown again.

2 more days to his arrival to HK :D:D:D
i duno how its going to be, i mean fun or nt,
i just scare he is going to be super bored when i go sch la!
like DUH. okay, whatever.

school is getting fine as i just had my warm-up with my classmates.
YES I FREAKING TOOK 6 MONTH TO WARM-UP!
god -o- .

awfully sian about AVA somehow, keep playing
castle rock/scropian/prison break/chromite
thats all. hmmmmmmmm.

today saw a guy squeezing his gf's butt in the middle of the street,
cant help but feel abit disgusted,
i mean go find some not so crowded place or at least a wall behind to do it mah,
but thinking if i actually do the same on the street too ~.~
well, maybe i really did. Lol.

Bored,
"most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and right place, they’re capable of anything.”
copied from Chinatown quotes.
darkness in humanity, i guess not only happens in the 1970s, even now it existed in a large scale.
then what is brightness in humanity -o- when almost everyone is evil.

2010-05-08T02:11:00.000-07:00

No doubt, once i feel emo the first thing comes into my mind is
BLOG.

we really get into more and more arguments recently,
makes me doubt more about this love.
he is really a good guy, with some bad points,
but definitely a good person to have.
then, maybe maybe its just me.

i feel so tired and stress, so is he.
i know perseverance is the key to success, but how long more do i need to persist?

dunno how to express. -o-
just feeling something, omg i dun even know what im feeling. zxzx

Happy Birthday!

2010-05-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

A post before i collapsed into bed xD ,
didnt get to revise my test for tomorrow AT ALL.

today is such a busy and bad day,
bad bad day, and thus i got a bad mood like usual.

Suddenly feel like viewing his blog, and i saw some new posts,
after reading it, i cried for like 1 minute, without the help of music,
which means im really sad . )':

(i decided to blog before i view those posts)

After his school starts, many conflicts started by.
He is stressed about his school and work, and im stress too,
so when two people so tired they tend to lose their cool easily therefore conflicts always just come by without reason.

Like today, i personally think its stupid.
and after arguing on the phone,
(its like the first time that i finally dare to raise my voice out and argue back, coz usually is the guy scolding/talking, and me shutting my mouth, must be the influence of R -3-)

anw, after i hanged up i went daydream on my way home.
its like plucking my earpiece into my ears but forgetting to play music for 10 minutes?!
i tot i wont cry, but did anyway in the end, for less then 1 minute in the bus.

feel too tired to continue the war with him, so i gave up and pretended that nth had happened.

While on the bus,
many thoughts came rushing into my mind again,
again realize that there's no such thing call "forget" , coz i can only pretend to "forget" ,
abt my past i mean.
situation like today, they would come back and irritate me.

This few days argument he just keep empathizing that his life sux.
okay, i know your life sux, i mean whose doesnt?
i think my life sux loads too.
but whats the point of dwelling on it and crying about it and blaming on it,
when after all the tears and emotions, you still had to live through it,
so why not just LIVE IT and accept the way it is?

Call it fate, destiny, whatever.

This is a really long post, i know.
but not like im going to post again any sooner so just bare with me okay? :))))

My birthday is coming in 5 days,
i personally think its going to be an original day like the rest of the 365 days or maybe with a little good luck along the day :x
i hope if im lucky.

i will just sit at home and AVA the whole day after school right away,
take it as a celebration to myself <:
maybe wait for bibi's present sent to me.
i think that will be the only present im receiving this year, hees better then nth :x

So i will have some early birthday wish coz i wont post on that day i think.

1) Grow slimmer (i got this wish for 3 yrs already, no meaning at all -o-)
2) Get rid of my pimples. (it would increase my self-esteem IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!)
3) Last long with bibi, hope we could live until white hair all drop (oops did i squeeze 2 wishes into 1, hehehe)

yes, may all this come true pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
especially the 1 2 and 3 one!!!!!! LOL!

真的戀愛了

2010-04-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

i truly want a forever with you. :)

its such a long time since i blogged, i realize,
when a person is filled with happiness and hopes,
you didnt need to share with others, like write it on a blog.

like me, i like to write blog when im emo,
something that i sees in life that is interesting,
or out of boredom. hees.

im living really well, really want to share this with you readers :)
even if things are not going out smoothly for me in life,
problems in school, long distance relationship etc.
i still feels quite contented , yes surprisingly.

haha.

he slept for so long, i didnt feel any negative feelings like i did last week.
infact, i just want him to get enough of rest, this is the way to love someone issit?
much to learn still.

this little bit of happiness,
im glad i have it, but on the other hand, afraid.
god, please dont take it away from me :(

something warm rolled down my cheek moments ago,
is it tears of joy or .. ?
im starting to feel strange even to myself.

傳聞浪漫太快, 愛戀都走得快
才會遲遲未步向你, 說一世愛護你

POST

2010-04-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

A post before i start on my AVA :D

holiday today, but not enjoying it coz bibi had to go to school.
yes first day of his sch and im already making a big fuss abt it for the past 3 days.
im sooooo childish.

i lost count on how many days then i could meet him.
thats good :D

and for the first time of my day , (or maybe second)
im glad to have my parents coz they support our relationship , or at least they didnt oppose.
:B

so is his parents.

maybe is a token of relieve for me and him since our r/s is harder then any others out there.
WE CANT MEET WHEN WE FEEL LIKE OKAY.
thats hell.

like im on the street feeling bored and would like some company,
especially in HK when i got no contacts in my phone.
he couldnt come over even thru he is so damn free waiting for me at home.
it feels kind of a pity in situation like these.

):

and the worst is, his salary all goes into aeroplane fees and spendage when im over,
which leads to his dream laptop being in fantasy and not reality.
(thats smth i feel QUITE guilty abt and cant do anything to help coz summer had arrive and i need a new stock in my closet <: )

hehe. do hope my father could sponsor my july air fees so i could live even better.
actually my allowance is more then enough but ofcoz there's no such thing call "enough" when it comes to the term - money. :B

pimples.

2010-04-13T04:14:00.000-07:00

i hate my pimples on my face,
they are the root of problem.

): .

(:

2010-04-11T23:12:00.000-07:00

Some time since i blogged.
my 10 days holiday is over, and now back to boring school.
first day of school skipped.

boring. 38 days.
p.s. people were looking at my back caring for me, i didnt realise.

To you.

2010-03-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

so tired, yet not tired.
last day of school tmr (:

im sorry love.

(:

2010-03-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

Finished my homework after 3 hrs, very tired.
feeling guilt in my head.

Happiness.

2010-03-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

i am happy (: .

p.s. pasts are to be forgotten.

2010-03-22T09:48:00.000-07:00

i hate blog, but i cant not to anyway.

the pain is rooted in me so deep that a phone call could dig it all up again.
i hate to admit it, but all he said in the past was all revealed again.

he say,
no guys like to see their girlfriend to write emo posts, coz they doesnt want to know that the girl is still feeling so unhappy upon being with them.
i thought someone in love with me would like to know what i really feels,
but i made a mistake, coz its not true.

he kind of scolded me just now.
the person who says he will nvr get angry or hurt me scolded me.
fine, scold in a not so rude manner.
i can see he is trying his best, coz its really my fault.

but his speech stuck me cold.
my heart froze, pain floating underneath my skin.
he reminds me of how Rave use to scold me everyday.
the exactly same feeling.

i feel so afraid and scare.
i hate blogging.

Call it Fate.

2010-03-21T08:39:00.001-07:00

a post before i sleep (:

why, i feel like im still living in the past.
just like how im so not use to the life now.
something in the past that i held so tightly on,
and lost that persistent as time passed.

like that video that i posted on facebook today.
the me few months ago would NEVER post it out so openly,
shouting at ruth that day for trying to get it on youtube.
yet today, i actually posted it up on my own.

time, every minutes and seconds, seems to be ever lasting.
but the truth is, nothing is ever lasting.
things that you're persisting now might not matters at all after time.

trying my best, im trying all so hard alone.
cant anyone understand?

Cant stop the randomness.

2010-03-20T05:59:00.001-07:00

11 more days (:
time really flys, even when it is not enjoyable at all.
lols.

this annoying ava music is floating into my ears (coz i dont bare to off it)
i spend lots of effort to finally get in and that person actually fell aslp like always (?)
can feel why im so fking pekcek.

forget it.
i cant let this prob continue destroying my emotions, CANNOT!
someone need to be the one mending the prob anw.
if he's not going to change, i guess i need to do smth abt it ): .

sigh.
i'll just go into my doraemon show that i haven finish ytd then!
the movies are just soooo good that none of them fail to not make me cry. hehehe.

edited-
finished doraemon and toaru kagaku no railgun's last episode.
i know the name sux. f3
so bored now, still need to wait 15 mins to harvest my flower then can slp.
sounds mad, but i just cant let ppl steal one flower of mine okay?!

lols :X
so i'll blog abit longer.
finding random ppl to talk to in msn now.
getting all sarcastic about anime, lame.
i feel like i just wasted my this one day holiday away without doing anything satisfying.
didnt get to improve my shooting skills too (althru i secretly played one game and won so easily that it feels so sianzxzx) :/

okay 10 more mins, i successfully wasted 5 mins... -o-
IM SO BORED CAN. SO BOREDDDDDDd.
-'-

-
argued with ruth, boosted with weili, feeling horrible abt friendship now.
why the hell is my time so limited?!!!!!
tearing between this smelly faces that im typing out, stupid. -o-

another week of school, and a camp full of annoying boys.
and then maybe i could get some fun after so long and forget abt all these shyt.

p.s. i saw rainie yang today!

None,

2010-03-16T03:35:00.000-07:00

Finally finished the first day of sch after the exam holidays (:
got back my papers, wasnt so bad after all.
only failed chem, and eng lit got much better then i had expected.
hope i could drop everyday except eng lit now :x

Another tiring week next week and i could have my 10 days fantasy.
only 10 days of fun in a whole yr of hardwork. isnt it abit too little ):

sigh, bi went to sleep again. i didnt get angry thru, can see that he is very tired.
which means if his school start, he is going to get more tired.
hope our feelings for each other wont fade, fear draining thru my body. )))): .

what can i do, other then just push my luck harder ): .

Hoping as it is.

2010-03-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

Its 15 days away from my big day.
air ticket had been done.
it seems so close, so near, so realistic,
but somehow still feel the urge to stop my hopes from overwhelming.

what if something went wrong?
what if it doesnt go as i plan it to be?
horrible discouragements appear in my cheered mind.
but.

"i am different from the others," he said.
and i believed.

humans, just like to kept on believing.
there's no such things call "i dunwan to believe anymore"
coz even you dun wan to believe,
a place deep inside your heart, you know you still do.

(:

weird.

Fearful Existence.

2010-03-14T03:45:00.000-07:00

It has been another week, and im a step closer to my dream.
.
.
17 days later ;D

just received bi's keychains for me yesterday.
am so happy to collect them :D hang it around my keys already, hehs.
this moment, i feel so loved. (:

so, im so free to blog here coz bi AGAIN went to sleep like he always do,
i dont know whats wrong with his body about dozing off in the middle of a conversation,
coz thats so rude. :B just kidding.

whatever, i got used to it anyway. (like real)
I WILL TRYYYYYYYYYYYY HARDER OKAY. -o-

just watched a flim "Legion" after he intro-ed me.
christian please dun watch it, its not so good commenting on god.
im not a christian but i dun really deny the existence of god,
will there really a day that God will give up on her children?

"Come, Ye children, Listen to me,
I will teach you the fear of the Lord. "
PSALM 34:11

is the bible really shows the entirely goodness of God?
forget it.
aiyo, this kind of complicated things dun think better! :B

faster 17 days come jiu hao! WEE!

Speedy Warrior.

2010-03-09T04:48:00.000-08:00

life is like this too, things around us are so fast that it became unclear.
before we knew it, it had already passed.

Contradiction.

2010-03-08T04:39:00.000-08:00

sometimes, being understanding is so hard.
i know exactly what to do, yet i couldnt bring myself to do it.
This contradict-ive feeling, i hate it! (&$@@$

2010-03-06T01:01:00.000-08:00

So, another week of school had passed.
exam started and i sat here doing nothing while my classmate is facebook-ing me whr they had studied to.

nothing to say,

Recurrence

2010-03-01T04:51:00.000-08:00

I miss the past, i hate the present.
.
.
.
i miss that ugly MG sch uniform that shows no body shape,
i miss the times when everyone gather to copy homework,
i miss the times when i get half drunk everyday and ruth had to carry me home,
i miss those bitches that talked behind my back before,
i miss those little childish things that i had done,

i miss them all.

was flipping thru some non-close people that i know's fb,
althru there arnt my face in it, but i still felt memories rushes thru my oh-so-calm mind.

Mark of blame.

2010-02-28T01:53:00.000-08:00

.
.

The taste of fear, for the future, past and .. maybe present.
i found out more and more things that i shldnt know,
people who are not close & close to me.

It feels horrible, like smth predicted's gonna to happen. ): .

Tales of Lies.

2010-02-27T01:12:00.001-08:00

When there's light, there's darkness.
no matter how i look at it, feels like my soul is just envelop by sugar.
Do you know, the great Devil Lucifer was once an Angel? (:

it had been another week since i posted- !
so, this is the long wait-ed ------ MY POST!
lols, -o-ll

yesterday i didnt go sch! did-not-go-schooool!
WEEEEEEEEEEEe, im so happy , yet not.
coz something happened in the morning.
3 days holiday <3. style="font-family:yui-tmp;">有一天，父母對兒子說：「你乖，你乖的話爸媽就多疼愛你」僅有三、四歲的兒子不太明白，也帶點不甘的道：「那麼算是真正的疼愛嗎？不乖就不疼愛了嗎？」這話嚇倒了父母，他們沒有想過僅有三、四歲的兒子，竟說出了這樣的話。

小事一樁，卻帶出人人都忽略了的道理。

大家有試過對情人的轉變，而對對方感情轉淡嗎？情人總會說：「你變了，你以前不是這樣的。」似乎人人都會抱怨，情人有些事兒，比起以前不夠體貼，不夠溫柔，不夠體諒，不夠好。接著，開始埋怨；然後，就是轉淡；過後；可能是分開；甚至，演變成憎恨。

再想想上述的故事，小孩子清楚的帶出了一個道理：不乖就不疼愛了嗎？不好就不愛了嗎？愛，是要條件的嗎？

要是愛侶不如往昔般對你好，就要捨棄了嗎？真正的愛，不該如此吧？其實大家都應該很清楚上述故事，對於兒子的問題，一定是「不」。因為父母不可能因為自己的小孩不夠乖巧而不再愛他們。因為那就是真正的愛。

那麼你對你身邊的愛侶呢？真的愛嗎？有沒有想過，假若有一天，對方對你的好，不如往昔，或者不合符你心中所想，你還會愛他嗎？

假如你的答案是「不」，那麼，你是愛他的人，還是愛他對你的好？

愛情從來就是騙人的東西。

說話可以假、感情可以假，連對方眼中的缺點都不知何故會變成優點。

即使雙方的相處也如是。

相愛時咀裡總會說著要坦坦白白，可是到對方坦白的時候，有多少人可以接受對方說自己錯?!
即使心甘，也總會有刺，覺得無奈、覺得無助。

結果慢慢地，為了不讓這種事情發生，大家都把真說話止住了。騙對方、騙自己，把說話用糖衣包起，變成了甜言蜜語，避開真實，躲進快樂的幻象，卻默默地讓感情步向死亡。
愛情，可真像軟性毒品呢。

到底自己是想讓對方坦白內心的想法，誓要一起解決問題?
還是只想對方哄你說佈滿糖衣的謊話呢?

2010-02-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

So, another week of fun and laughter is gone.
i suddenly again feel soooooo far away from happiness.
thinking abt sch tmr, *faints* .

manage to spend 3 hrs today to chiong finish all my homework.
i won the devil inside me and manage not to chiong inside A.V.A instead <3
*determined to own junior in AVA in few days more*
but sch start cannot train abit hard uh ):

sad. aye, whatever.
i grew off the desire for money TOTALLY,
did not even bother to open my hongpaos, just throw them all into a box.
rofl. when i nid it i shall find all of you :D

and and and I BOUGHT A NEW HANDPHONE MYSELF.
start to regret......... coz its too hard to use. i got problem typing a msg.
same as Junior anw, LD crystal, GB900.

So, in a week i heard two people telling me that,
"girl, life is not just like this" .
then like what ?

Im flirt? just shows how shallow you people are to me. (?)
omg, i seems so unfriendly. :B

Beautiful Determination!

2010-02-14T06:38:00.000-08:00

So, the first day of the lunar new year, i stayed at home till 5pm then head out for ahma hse.
junior went to malaysia, so no one webcam with me \-o-/ sian.

and therefore i got lots of time ALONE <: And i spent 2 hrs of these time looking thru 600 plus msg that he sent me in my inbox,
determined to drag myself out of the past, first must start from these useless msges that i dun bare to delete.
i felt pain from inside out while deleting these one by one,
all the empty words. it just hurt so so much.

Smile at my determination today, *claps*. ^o^
(: bye.

After going thru 4 months of heaven/hell (?) ,
i found myself completely injured.

Lifelong Endurance.

2010-02-13T10:06:00.001-08:00

its a never-ending path.

happy valentines day and chinese new year everyone (: .

in this boring hongkong without friends.
got more things to do which is to visit family members and more complicating matters.
family members, all just add stress and more stress to me.
sitting in the middle of a crowd, except for being more self-conscious about manners in eating, i guess not much.

So, He feel asleep when webcam-ing with me,
and i went rehearing all the old jaychou songs.
they're still so good at helping you think about serious matters.

i cried just nw, yet i dun feel as sleepy.
that expression, kept appearing in my mind.
i cant help, but think of how would i feel if im in his shoe'
rising so much courage to ask, getting such a shyt answer.

i really grew alot, if its me in the past, i would have nob my head long ago without much thinkings.
i duno if its good or bad, i start to think further,
maybe its how i was taught, to stop being that childish silly girl.
yet i lost the confidence, that tiny hope in others, wishing that they're just do as they promise.

and now, saying that i'll go sleep but writing this crap that i dun know shld post anot.
somehow, i feel so afraid to post emo things after that.
just totally disappointed at myself for everything.
friendship too.
i dun even have the heart to look for sandy's peasant since christmas.
and ruth's ..

hais, dun say le. ): .

when true love fall upon you,
are you able to receive it?

I'll break the stars for you.

2010-02-11T06:21:00.001-08:00

vivi and orhorh.

its finally holiday after a long wait.
just before im going to slp, suddenly feel like blogging :D
dun really have smth in mind, just blabbling nonsense here.

today is a fine day, except that my class lose in basketball in my disappointment..
just just just 1 fking score to champion T_T
sobszx.
and so i got hyper after that exciting match and become abit more talkative then usual for the rest of the day :x

AND AND, i received my valentines present before valentine,
WOW la. :x hehs.
happy happy happppppppppppy!

Fate beckons the obvious suffering.

2010-02-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

let the picture say everything i want to say :D.

My trembling feet remembers a certainty.

2010-01-30T03:18:00.000-08:00

Hey i decide to post once a week, so come have a look on my blog at weekends (: .
i took quite many pictures and wanted to post them but appearantly i forgot to bring my wire.. so nvm . (:

show you my summer uniform (:. its nice, last wk i didnt post it.
.
.
.

When dreams are not enough to protect,
what will us do? run away, sob in this reality?
heaven? hell? i dun even know the way.

I wonder, how long can this last,
im so afraid of its disappearance.
haha, started an anime. (: its quite good.

My trembling feet remembers a certainty.

Doraemon

2010-01-24T03:21:00.000-08:00

SEE WHAT I DRAW :X:X

The fallen heaven.

2010-01-23T03:17:00.000-08:00

hey, i finally got time to blog.
coz i am toooooo busy webcam, skype, gunbound. :D

and my mood got better,
even thru school still sucks... :x

okay, today is a xia suey day when i am going to the mrt.
because i left my wallet at home, and i only like discover it when i am at the ticket counter.
so, i had to RUN all the way home, and run back.
yup. late again. lol.

after even more suey is, i had to like take mrt with my tuition teacher after tuition.
gosh, i feel so paiseh can.
she say i always smile, make her want to see me more.
laughs* , okay i did get happier ^_^

just that i keep daydream about my july holiday during boring times.
like, before i sleep, in schoool. blah.
hahahaha, very fast de lah!

i bought my summer uniform already~!
it is so chio can, summer please faster come <3.
and you know what, the inside part is EXACTLY the same as my singapore uniform?!
and i thrown most of them away already.
roflll. so, i argued with my mom INSIDE the uniform shop, (it is embarrassing)
about the length of the sch uniform.

oh well, in the end i got one long and one short, coz when the prefects find me i can like wear the long one on the following day. woops.

:x

ANDAND i curled my fringe today, i know im mad since i duno why i go reborn it in the first place..
BUT im going to curl fringe to school from monday onwards. ROFL.
it looks more mature cannnn, <3.

see, i got xin to write a long post now.
happy anot ? readers ?!
or your already abandon my blog. sobzzxx.

anti-emo post for today. rofl.

Emotions.

2010-01-17T22:58:00.000-08:00

Hi my dear readers {:
im sorry for neglecting my blog.

just watch finish hi my sweetheart episode 12.
there's a 4 days holiday, but tmr had to go sch already.
i wasted all these precious time.
totally no life staying at home. (am getting bored of gunbound already)
can someone introduce me some global gameszxzx.

and when is my hair going to grow.
im getting so annoyed yet i could not do anything.
sigh.

it feels good after a good sob actually.
since it has been some time.
when then i can have true happiness,
i suffer some time already!!! T_T

(sensing God telling me to suffer few more yrs)

Enveloped by sorrows.
im still that childish kid trying to find shelter.

hi.

2010-01-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

IM SORRY READERS FOR TAKING SUCH A LONG LONG TIME.
coz im currently crazily about gunbound and skype with my buddies.
omg la i finally know how to use the word buddy. :x
(last time sandy say what dota buddy)

my mother keep say im crazy coz i will laugh like mad.
then i say "not good meh?"
then she say "i nvr say not good." hehe.

finally found smth to cheer myself up and kill my time.
thanks buddies <3.

so, with my 4 days holiday, (3 actually)
i spend it with my pink vaio 24/7.
it sleep with me, eat with me (i dirty it with kfc chicken the other day),
chat with it to my buddies. SEEEE.

my blog is not safe, i better not write so much :x
bye.

Roxxxy & Rocky.

2010-01-11T03:33:00.000-08:00

Hi. i read a news today and i really think this world should just end soon.
so please stop stop preventing global warming from conquering its way,
and just let it destroy mankind.

Today, USA just punblished a seris of new robots call "Roxxxy & Rocky",
their jobs are to satisfy the desireS of human beings -o-
made with the most high quality chemicals materials that feels just as real human skin with a touch,
buyers can choose robots girlfriend to their own likings, from inside to outside, looks to personality!

.
.
here is an exampe.
.
.
.
.
and they are selling at 10k SGD only!!

LIKE SERIOUSLY, what are we women for if these RoxxxyS are created?!
i mean to be fair to the both sexes to prevent sexual* discrimination they created "Rocky" too,
but God knows Roxxxy is going to sell far off better then Rockys..

"Roxxxy stands 170cm tall, weigh 54.43kg, has a full C cup and is ready for action.."
LOL. YOU SEE, the news even only introduce Roxxxy and not a word about Rocky.
this world is just so morally coruptted..
i can already imagine my husband fking a robot infront of my face and says,
"hey sweetie, im not cheating on you."

:/
For more info, please go on http://realdoll.com/
(buy one with just a simple click and dun talk to me already.)

Days of Nightmare.

2010-01-08T06:34:00.000-08:00

hey its weekend, but i still have to get up early for social work and bbq for sch.
what more stupid events can they come out with?!

finally a first photo with hk people.

i feel so fking ugly now can?!
thats when those clip-on hair comes in handy.
YOU SEE, YOU MUST ALWAYS HAVE THESE THINGS PREPARE.
for situation like this.

dun worry, you wont see another pic of me with short hair.
im just showing you how ugly is this.

rofl.
but go to school will be ugly, not like i care.
my head feel so light, horrible feeling.
thanks to some ass AGAIN,
you better WATCH OUT.
hmph. angry.

tmr's school again. fk them.
i hate school!

Heartening Reality

2010-01-07T06:04:00.000-08:00

dun say help people regain their faith in life,
i couldnt even do it myself.

life still goes on, everyone still goes to school and eat their meals everyday.
it seems to them that nothing change,
the absence of me, is just so insignificant.

to others, maybe nothing changed.
but to me, everything changed.
what is really the meaning NO FRIENDS and LONEINESS.
just so clear so clear.

im not happy that i got this beautiful computer is beacause i got no one to show off to.
if its that me in sg, i would be announcing it around the school.
now, not an insect know about how this event comes about.

just no one cares, and i couldnt say coz its just so stupid.
its like you just met someone today and youre telling him "i bought a dress today".
see, its out of the topic.

and the thing that upsets me is,
i got backstabbed today.

since i got no friend how i get backstabbed?!
yeah, let me explain.

well, im not that angry and sad or upset coz i GOT BACKSTABBED.
coz she's like not close to me at all and i dun have a reason to hate her.
but this reality once again.

rmb that girl that i know in school that i had mention much earlier in my post,
the one that first take me lunch?
she tell the teacher i got extentions on my head. (I simplified the version)
coz she wan to get a good impression from the teacher.
you know prefects book more people got higher ranking or smth?
so, i had to get rid of them by monday.

and no insects know abt this matter except 2 girls in my school.
yeah, i didnt tell anyone even thru im so upset, not even him.
i duno why i just cant open up to him even thru i promise i will try, just duno how to start.
when i talk to him, i will just start to throw temper even thru he is being so nice and torlerative to me.

i dunwan to take another person for replacement just because of the wants of forgetting the past.
its so unfair to them.

I want to cry, out loud to someone on the phone, to just listen and tell me everything is okay even if it is not true.
yet, that person is gone.

finally weekend tmr.
how long more then i can adapt to this life. ?

Pink Sony Baby.

2010-01-05T07:42:00.000-08:00

i better start preparing what to write before i got nth to post again.

:x

somehow, grow off that desire to write down abt life.

hehe i guess by now you should know what new stuff i got.

but i didnt feel as happy as i expected thru..
maybe coz i coulnt share this supposingly happiness with that person.

oh well,
am so busy this 2 days.
first time in duno how many years that i had to complete a dinner in less then 5 mins.
basically just try your best to stuff every single thing into your mouth and run out of the hse.

yes, i did that today. ^_^

dun think i will be home before 9 tmr too.
i hate this life la!

okay. i guess there wont be a post tmr.
be patient (;

Leap Gap.

2010-01-04T04:33:00.000-08:00

totally bankcrupt this month.
spent all my remaining money on this jacket ^o^
hundred plus SGD ley.
hugged it to slp <3

my new catch, but no front camera. hmm.

first day of sch already sucks.
tired.
looking forward to holidayzx.

Happy 2nd day of new year.

2010-01-02T02:47:00.000-08:00

別人在傷害我，
我好像要傷害另一個人才低銷了別人對我的傷害，
結果，三個人永遠在互相傷害。

did you see my bi-colour eyes? hahaha.
cannot see clearly?

TADA! one green, one brown.
kim anot?! LOL!
well, i didnt do it on purpose, coz the other green somehow make my eye very uncomfortable so i've got no choice.

okay. i really got nothing to say.
except my unhappiness towards my MOM who is so not happy abt me playing 2D games.
and im crazily urge to play gunbound.
ahhhhh, scream*.

so no ss still.
and, i think my handphone bill is going to bomb this month too.

cant i just know some hongkie malessssssss? <:
local msges are so much more hua.

CHEH!

Happy New Year.

2009-12-31T02:07:00.000-08:00

原來，有時候，
當一個人無論怎樣也愛不了你的時候，
一句 "我愛你"，
永遠只會是一個奢侈的期盼。

some feelings, can be forgotten very easily,
you just need to not think and touch it.

single and antisocial life could be sooooo interesting.
haha. i had a good start in 2010 thanks to some idiots. :D

briefly explain what i did :
flirt with A and chat with O after countdown.
well, kind of me counting down on my own -o-''
coz i cant handle 2 chatbox in that short 10 seconds.

its like counting 10 to 3 with gekluo,
and 3 to 0 with O.

both of them didnt count with me, so they only say
HAPPY NEW YEAR! at zero. -o-''

yesh, this is my new emotionnn.
idc if anyone is already using it but i invented it on my own ^o^
hahaha.

tried gunbound with S.
i hate his fking attitude on using hack on a noobie (me).
but nvm, i laughed like siao.
it is quite fun. :x

ss for you tmr. :D bye. off to gunboard~

The beginning of another end.

2009-12-30T05:45:00.000-08:00

if you ask me if i think a person will change yrs ago..
i will answer you "no".

so if any of my girlfriends ask me "do you think my bf will change for me?"
i will tell her to stop dreaming coz if he change pigs also will fly.

but then if you ask me the same question now.. i will answer "maybe."
haha, what make this change?

well, coz im a good example of the word changed.
from a bitch who go around brking ppl's heart 2 yrs ago, to
someone who go around letting ppl break my heart.

haha funny, but its true okay!

so now, when im chatting with my ex-boyfriends in MSN,
we would eventually lead the conversations to the bitch things that i did..
and i would simply answer them
.
.
.
"I CHANGED LE OKAY!"

haha (: .

***

anw, happy new year coz its like the last day of the year 2009.
i decided to celebrate it with gekluo baby and O on MSN.
yeah, we are going to have countdown tgt <3 style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">

he seems so happy, how can i bare to break his heart.
but betraying my own feelings?

Cannot think of any title.

2009-12-29T09:22:00.001-08:00

just finish reading xiaxue's love story, (like once every 3 mths)
and im glad i went in to read an entry today. AHHH! feel so high now.
thanks for sharing yea ((:

This story about you two seriously lifted up my day and reminded me that real love in this world does exist, and if you wait long enough for the right one, youll know when its time. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and i wish you two happiness forever =)

one of the comments that people give..
too lazy to read all so i'll just take one that my eyes see and feel its touch.
and this is what she say in her blog which i tink its a good share for stupid girls like me and maybe you ^o^

So if you would like advice, I'd say go for the unassuming geek (or perhaps not so suave guy) who only has eyes for you, and give him a chance! Stop loving bad boys right now! Unless you are the sort who likes relationship drama/cheater/lying bitch etc then please don't date the good guys and turn them cynical, thank you very much.

yeah, this comment is give me de. LOL!
blog also can know dao boyfriend.. hmm, thats a good try :/
alrights, angmo boyfriend im waiting for you. ^o^
LOLLLLLL. laugh die me. that ruth hai de la.

daphy say this to me in msn,
hao kai xin <3 xiexie.

booت ミ*♪,, 難過的潮濕猶如大雨僵滯 ,,♥*ミ說:
好逞强.. 我好心疼
不要逞强ok?
我会一直借你肩膀靠的~~
为你*惜惜*眼泪
我要走了.. 答应我不要想不开好吗
我很担心地
加油~~ 掰掰

Scarred Memories

2009-12-29T01:10:00.000-08:00

So, this is something that i spend 2 hrs on ^o^
editting it into this.

like cool uh? i wan play water motorcycle too!
hahaha. but why edit finish become blur blur ah.

i really should stop hurting xdd. -_-
but why do i still miss you.

you know what is the reason people cut themselves?
not because they want to feel physical pain to cover up the pain in their heart or whatever.

or at least for me when i cutted yrs ago,
it is because it is something to remind yourself that you will never commit the same mistake again when you see that particular scar on your body.

i had a scar on my body, yet i still commited the same mistake,
why.

Morning Horizon.

2009-12-27T08:15:00.001-08:00

another money spending day.
and that handsome hunk in my msn cheer up half of my day.
LOL!

really very handsome you know, half sg half amercian.
i rmb-ed his and his ex's half naked photo is gone along with my laptop. (american style i guess, he post it big big on pserver forum)
he is a pserver friend which i know duno how many yrs ago who suddenly speak to me in msn and say:
"my girl dump me, the first chinese i dated"

coz duno how many yrs ago he told me "im not interested in asians".

see! this is an example of PEOPLE DO CHANGE.
im just being random. :D
and why is american so fking weird.

okay. im outta words.
off to restaurant city :D

and photos!

哭过了，就算了吧。哭得再多，也都没有用。泪流得再多，也不能快乐一点。因为爱你，所以我不给你任何困扰。因为爱你，所以我情愿自己难过。因为爱你，所以我改变了自己。爱上一个人，如此甜蜜却又让人受伤。放弃一个人，如此的难过却又让人心碎。当缘分要来的时候，你如何挡也挡不住可是，当缘分要逃跑的时候，你如何留也留不住。

YES I COPY&PASTE THIS FROM SOME CHIOBU'S BLOG.
(:

will you disappoint me like the rest of the world,
this is not a question.

It feels as if you didnt exist before.

2009-12-27T05:47:00.000-08:00

kind of losted the motivation to blog.
totally into restaurant city today <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_NvaJNgw1-hM/SzeDIjAwPpI/AAAAAAAAAds/g292EzZSWGA/s1600-h/restaurantcity3.JPG">

really feels like all devoted guys in earth had fly to mars.
even my darling jc kor which is that Mr Nice Guy that i open my eyes to seeee for the past three years,
actually dump his ex for another girl.
see! this just shows im blind like always.

i always wondered why people spent so much effort achieving what live forever rubbish,
in the past, you know you always see those tv.

~.~
when i just cant wait to die.

got a person died of alcohol poisoning today, on news.
drunk also can die <:
coz there is so much alcohol that the brain forgot to breathe.
flashbacks of that that day when i drank with ruth (x.

fine, it is stupid to look forward to death.
hahahaha. im happy!

cant anyone see im a -sooo- fake person?
just cover up all the "haha" and "!" change to "."

there, that is the real me (((:.

Hopes faltering into oblivion.

2009-12-25T20:45:00.001-08:00

let me briefly explain what i do this christmas with supporting evidence :D
actually cannot rmb what i did, so just look at the pics :D

things that i bought.

from this post onwards, i dun tink am going to write abt my life much :x
except photos, coz i like to take rubbish things.

to me, blog is a platform that let authors and readers to share their thoughts, feelings, point of view etc.
anything but your doings, i mean which idiot is interested in your life.
just look at the number of my comments, you know what i mean.
i used to write them just to let my bf see, so that he could know more abt me blah.
now no nid le ba :x

see, im actually sharing my feelings now instead of writing abt what i did today.
:x

one last thing!
This is a vow:

I here SWEAR that i would not fall in love with any MALES at least until 31/12/2010.
otherwise i not call ashley lau! hmph!

i feel soo excited. <:

Thankyou.

2009-12-25T10:11:00.000-08:00

its like 2am already. haha.
duno he sleep le mei you. hmmm.

made him so angry that he deleted me from msn,
maybe this should be done much earlier.
just that i always dun have the courage to..

suprisingly i feel abit happy..
i didnt cry, i didnt feel sad over it at all.
this should be the way man ! jiayou ! :D

i guess, you will be hating me now.
love and hate, this shld be the way after all. (:

and i wont blog abt you anymore too.
this would be the last.
In this world, there's no such thing call i cannot live without anyone,
so, i'll show you i can become strong too!
i wan you to be proud that im someone you were in love once before (:

thankyou so much! (L).

Jingle Bells.

2009-12-25T04:49:00.000-08:00

im so amused.

this christmas isnt so bad after all ^o^
wake up early in the morning at 8am to meet brandon in hongkong!
coz he gtg at 12 to airport.
treat him to breakfast, then he treat me eat herbal jelly,
chat chat under his hotel then leave.

wee! even thru it is just a short 2 hrs and 40 mins,
that make my other half of boring day. haha!
thankyou (:

so end of this yr christmas.
bad but not so bad.

i kind of abit believe in ruth's retribution. lols :x
coz i was such a bad person.

felt so relax of finally having a reason to let go.
time will wash away the remindings, i always believe that. (:

laughs.

2009-12-24T06:49:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everybody!

my wishes this year are :
1) he can be happy every single day.
2) i can be happy every single day.

is christmas suppose to have wishes? ^o^
nvm, this is my new year wish.. children's day wish.. birthday wish.
all same la! haha!

as you can see, im so bored blogging here.
most of my msn friends went out to celebrate christmas, so is he.
even dun dare talk see him online also happy de ma :x

tried to socialise with some guys online.
tried to put my heart inside and talk but didnt manage to succeed.
coz winter hand cold cold put under my butt and keep warm.
so see the msn blink blink too lazy to take out from warmless and reply.
and stare at tv for 1 whole hr or more,
so not replying those weirdos for 1 hr.

just no feel la. no f-e-e-e-e-e-l ! understand?! stop saying i didnt try! -_~
if he talk to me, minus how many degrees also reply ^o^!
lols, baichi!

is my photography skills good ? :D

first time i bravely face instead of escaping,
the truth is so pain.

the worst christmas.

2009-12-23T08:08:00.000-08:00

i swear this is the worst christmas ever.

hopeless beyond words, explaining is troublesome and meaningless,
so i'll save it (:

.
.
.

我喜歡你.

2009-12-22T06:02:00.000-08:00

finally home after such a long day out.
im sorry readers, im afraid this is going to turn out an emo post ltr.
you can choose to stop reading after the photos, or not read at all :D
not feeling the best now. hahs ((:

went back home for that little little few mins just to put down things.
then held for ahma's house to have family dinner.
christy invited me to watch new moon tgt, just like i asked.
it is 9am in the morning, which means i had to wake up at 7am.
i agreed yesterday night, but then change my mind this morning.
not like i cant wake up, just open my eyes and think..
what the hell im doing, going so fking far just to watch a flim,
that i had already watched in the website, and its not so fantastic that i will like to watch again.
and its not like im going with the people i know im going to enjoy.

so, why do i still choose to go.
just to make myself socialise? it is just so stupid.

today, was on mrt when i saw this little girl with her bicyle.
which brings me back to the past,
that little girl learning to ride a bicycle.
the past.. seems like its just yesterday.
i used to be so brave, so looking forwarad to challenges,
im not afraid of falling down, which makes me learning faster then other kids in the neighbourhood.

where's this me? coz i want to find it back so much.
yet its gone. only hiding in this deep corner of me.

feel myself so chaotic. i know i need to pick myself up at where im fallen, yet, i just kept doing the opposite.

我喜歡你每天罵我的聲音，
我喜歡我們常常為了無聊的事吵架，
我喜歡你弄我哭後逗我笑，
我喜歡沒見過面卻這樣愛我的你。
我真的好愛好愛你！

為什麼相愛都是這麼的困難？
why do i still believe in this world's lies.
not a single broken relationship is worth you questioning yourself,
so i guess all others could say is,
"there will be alot of handsome guys in hk waiting for you!"

this song, 爱不单行 reminds me of how i use to like you.
我爱过几个人, 也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下。

The nostradamus prophocies.

2009-12-21T01:14:00.000-08:00

hi everyone. here's ashley again ^^

just come back from hair treatment.
say byebye to bangs ^____^
spend fking lotszx of money today.

went post office early in the morning to send the preasents off,
all except sandyseah's, (i tink she will get it at chinese new yr.)
lols :X

the post fee is so ex, almost same price as the preasent itself -_-

ofcos, i cant let off the opportunity to take pic with them,
also prove that it is from meeeeee. LOL!

afternoon, queue in a bank for fking 1 whole hr,
coz all their machines is under renovations,
and there arnt another shop near.
what stupid bank is that!?!??!! so regret opening an account there -_-

new release photo of me without fringe.
rare okay? nvr openly show ppl before >:(!

ate macdonald in the afternoon, fat like hell.
i got that that tiny desire of getting a tattoo on my finger suddenly.
LOL! so crazy, if i still held that tot next july,
maybe i'll get it in singapore. :X

Extreme love brings extreme hatred.
yet i dun feel any hate towards you at all, not even a tiny bit.
maybe i didnt love you as much as i tot.

Encore Life.

2009-12-19T18:14:00.000-08:00

i wake up so early again.
bth -_-

maybe coz of the too sufficient sleep yesterday night coz of boredom and stopping myself from clicking his namezxzx.

oh well.
i bought a dress ytd with EPS!
ahhhhhh first time im using MY bank card to pay.
so cool, spend money even faster~ sigh ): lols!

still have-not buy sandyseah's shoe,
where the hell is it possible to find flats during winter -_-
mad woman.

i wan find something to do! it is so fking bored. zxzx
games? i dunwan play alone nah T_T
arguing with shawn seems like the only fun things to do,
i just had to keep you hot ;x

how i wish,
you could tell me its just time we need to overcome,
coz you never wan to separate with me.

she was right.
just because i fall in love with someone doesnt give me the privalige to act like someone who lost her mummy.
if you're not ready for this ending, it just tells you how immature you are to even start it.

no gain no loss.

2009-12-18T19:04:00.000-08:00

hey, good morning peeps :D

i dunno wth i wake up so early coz theres really no point.
but i just cant sleep rolling on bed for like whole hr.
so i decide to come online as its not good leaving too much alone time for my brian -
:X

i decide not to watch new moon in the cinema,
cos i already complete watching it and its really boring compare to my 海派甜心 drama.
christmas is like less then a week,
and i still have not- send out the presents, so its going to be a belated christmas present.
somemore, i haven even BUY sandyseah's present yet.
not like she bought mine already, and i doubt she is going to.
but people shldnt be so selfish yeah? ^^
okay i'll get it later.

so, better then nothing. \^o^/

i see now, nothing is free in this world.
wad you gain, is wad you lost later.
so is happiness, there's a price to pay.

if so, i wouldnt choose to have anything.
no gain no loss. this shall become my new aspect for life ^_^!

i bu she de take out the weiwei laogong part ley,
it doesnt matter if its there or not right?!
pretend you never see okay? :X

one day i will (:

Field of seasons.

2009-12-18T06:11:00.000-08:00

last day of school today~
waaa i go sch so short days also got a preasent ^^
(those everyone also have de la)
lols! better then nothing.

got christmas party after school.
i ate like a pig. really i think people is looking at me with weird eyes like
"why is she taking 3 plates of spagetti and 4 chicken wings"
LOL! free ley, not nice also must stuff inside my stomach!

went home ezlink no more money, had to call mother to go busstop give me money.
was soooo paiseh. oh well \~_~/

finally holiday, smile!
and its like weekend again~
money money all come to my wallet!

some pictures at hollywood plaza for choir ytd.

my breakfast this morning,
i duno why i keep take lame photos like this. ^o^

wiwi, me again :D
my eyes is sooo pretty, gosh :X
LOL! can i please like cut my bangs away.
erxim ley!

continue with my new moon part 2 ^o^
after read finish the book know the ending le the movie like no kick.
sigh! i keep asking ppl in sch if they're going to watch in the cinema.
i doubt its going to be fun going with sch ppl thru :O
but, at least i "went out".

guess what i told my mother today, hahaha!
i tell her, aiya my sch ppl all not my kind, dun go out one.
then she say go out for wad, spend more money only.
then i say money is earn to be spent happily. LOL!
she bo wei gong laaaaazxzx <3 style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">how do we get across the sense of abandonment and heartbreak.

Kiss me.

2009-12-17T05:23:00.000-08:00

ahhhhhh im so happy!
chengim actually say she love me @$)&@$
CHENGIM = SAY LOVE ME. read properly (;
she auto say de horh! ruth must be dam jealous.
hahaha!

today reach home like 8pmzxzx, so dam late. haha
went some christmas thing for choir,
the stupid attendence dun even have my name on it,
so i duno wth do i go thr when im just a nobody~
oh well.

ate macdonald with christy after the service,
i treated her apple pie :D
hahs. last day of school tmr,
not looking forward to it at all.

decision made, im glad i finally did such strong things.
i know this road is not gonna be easy,
cos there would be nothing left but emptiness.
sometimes, you just got to do smth that is good for everyone,
coz its not a matter of you want or not.

i guess (:
everyone, jiayou tgt ba :D:D

eyes look your last,
arms take your last embrace,
and lips, sealed with your righteous kiss.
a dateless bargain to engross death.

and tear me down.

2009-12-15T23:02:00.000-08:00

people only learn to treasure when they lost it.

got scolded by gekluo yesterday in skype.
am hurt mentally althru its for my own good *sigh. (HOPE YOU WILL READ THIS)
lols.

finish sch soooooo early today.
took a nap after that.
nothing special today :? weird. lols~

i love daphne boo hui ting. <3
my girlfriend.

(L)(L)(L).

post so short, abit bu xi guan, but might add more things later :D

you build me up,

2009-12-15T01:38:00.001-08:00

reached home after school,
saw the msg daphy left for me, all unhappiness for the day suddenly disappeared!
heart feel warm warm de, smile like idoit :X
im sorry, but was so happy that moment.

althrough the msg was nothing special, but somehow..
can feel so much from just a short and simple few sentences.
thanks! <3
dun think she is able to see this anw, im just this kind of ppl ma!
keep it to myself, duno how to share! haha!

althrough am feeling so good now,
i still had to say my 倒霉 things today in school.
early in the morning, already get caught by some DM for short skirt.
1 inch only ma! irritating -_-
then got caught sleeping in lecture by vicep, and she make me present some powerpoint slide that had no content. mad.
after skip cca then kana caught AGAIN by the vicep outside school gate.

so suey.
dun forget i just attend school for 2 wks.
can become famous again, hoho \^_^/

finally got a day where i had a chance to skip dinner!
was planning to eat mac but too lazy to walk out the housezxzx.
mother not at home, am sooooo bored.
can someone entertain me? <:

addictions never dies.

2009-12-14T05:16:00.000-08:00

my computer moditor spoiled. half of it. so having an 19 inch mon is like having a 10 inch one.
oh well \-_-/.

here are goods for display :X

my beautiful converse shoessss which look fking cui after that mountain climb ):

my boots! look not nice here?

here look much better?! hahaha!

this my new school bag, i had to admit, its just plain black soft leather bag.
nothing special, but hey im going to school okayy :X
i like~ it is those boys nowadays always carry on street de :D:D

this is me, for sale too.
ofcos with terms and conditions. LOL!
and applicable to singaporean only.

.
.
.
.
.

just joking.

i want this, nice right? like those jap jap de.
imagine with my headphone, wooo :X
but guess the price, lols ._. why things that my eyes lie on all so ex de?!
bored of hk shopping centre,
blogshop <3 old habits die hard, i just realise, you can cover it but you cannot get rid of it. hohoho.

Happiness starts from very basic elements of simpliness,
catching and enjoying it with your own hand.
just the matter of how you look at it. (:

Theres no end.

2009-12-12T23:50:00.000-08:00

im so bored again between this buziness.
wooo. blog about life, every single fragment.
coz im just a normal teenager, so i nid to blog.
on the mood of destroying this blogskin.
what am i thinking -_-'"

im starting to hate my bangs, wanting my emo fridge back.
faster grow pleasezxzx. hahahaha!
at ahma hse now, tmr is the start of another sch week.
really hope i could have some friends, they dunnid to be true,
just go out with me and play or smthzxzx.
hk nightlife is soooo good, and im having so much freedom abt able not to go home everyday.
yet no one enjoy with me. grr.

i grew out of my emo emotions, *admiring my own abilities.
all that is in mind now is fun and cash, i had to admit money is nvr enough.
having a bank account is as good as not having one.
cos its always empty. lols!
people earn money to spend isnt it?
whats the diffierent of keeping papers and cash if you dun use it?

im sorry, this is just another rubbish point of view of mine so that i will feel better spending so much.
hohoho. dun learn okay? {:
bought myself a new school bag, a jacket and few shirts ytd.
just now bought another jacket and a dress. haha
and i found myself another desire, a camera those big big one!
mad isnt it? but i want!
gekluo baby got her new lappy already, wtf is this?!

this is jealousy. LOL!
im so zi-lian finally. haha (:

i love you, theres the only feeling i need to continue everyday.

ThisFaith.

2009-12-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

edited* (:

i got myself some weird dreams. not really the one i would want to have ):

feels abit retarded, but doesnt matter!
cause theres an angel on my table telling me to "be strong!"

later got like what tuition class already,
so fast! #_$*@$
lucky only one hour ^^ open my eye big big and listen.
got free movie tickets on storm warriors at night,
wish that it was in singapore so i could go with friends.
D:

after next week its like holiday~
actually weeks and month pass so quickly (:
so got nothing to be afraid of de la!

watching 2012 online, it is loading so slowly.
sux man ):

i love this scenary! looks like 2012. Lols :X

finally back home, the tuition is quite good, i like it suprisingly.
then went shopping, use another 100~ haha (:
storm warrior is not very good, my father watch till fall aslp.
sigh, watch with a person who fall aslp, no mood! ._.
but nvm, the movie is all abt computer effects.
not much plot, so.. not good. haha

feels fine today, am so glad abt it!
i love you, not what you are, but who you are.
goodnights love! <3

World of stargaze.

2009-12-11T08:59:00.000-08:00

so tired still blog. hahaha.

went cousin's wedding. seeing so many cousins cannot even regonise them la.

i stare at one for dam long then say OMG i cannot regonise you!

hahs, okay alot of pics to post.

my favourite food, im sorry its abit disgusting. cos its the fish eye.
yeah, i like to eat fish eyeball. Lols!
dun say out ah, not many people know :X

red wine.

seee, i won it in a bingo game. this is the biggest price. hahaha!
funny (:

*before unrip

roast pig. duno the english name lahs :X

the bride seems to like hello kitty so much. the whole wedding is full of hellokitty.
shall my wedding be full of doraemon? ><

i like baichi snatch balloon with small kids. LOL.
it will become rubbish eventually but hey, take it first then say :X

there my cousin ( the guy ) and his wife.

powerpoint of both young photo~ the setting is beautiful,
but in my lousy camera dun seems so. sigh nvm!

hao ke ai ~

never see so many years, my cousin become so shuai le!
last time he super fat de laaa!
my impression of him is : FAT!
but now become shuaige le ((:

wedding wedding, to receive everyone's blessing.
the wife once open her mouth to talk already start crying le lahs,
then my cousin help her wipe tears, and give her a bunch of hello kitty flowers!
hahaha!
looking at my cousin and his wife, imagining me and him's :X
daydream daydream, hao xin fu worhs <3

talked to spencer kor about his gf and him de things,
he like dun really want to tell me but i just keep repeating the same ques till he replys.
people 17 i also 17, i die also dun believe people can do long distance relationship i cannot!
i-dont-believe!!
fine, im 16 -_- but doesnt matter la!
seems like he faces the situation as me now(in the past), but he last thru so long and never give up,
so how can i tooooooo?! {:
ahhh, feel so much better that someone just tell me his experience that im going to face/facing.

okay. goodnights all, sweetdream to myself! *hope i dream of him ^_^*

relinquish one's hold.

2009-12-10T02:24:00.000-08:00

thursday is such a busy day.

see i bought 2 packet of drinks when im sitting in the CANTEEN waiting for the teacher to call "senior choir".
how can they make us sit in the "CANTEEN"!?!?!?
ofcos i cannot hold the tempt and bought many many food and left that pathetic few cents.
ytd was few dollars ):
sorry not a few cents, i rmb-ed i buy until i nid to use ezlink card. hahahaha!

laughs. :X

i want a sleep for 24 hrs, i need a sleep for 24 hrs. ()$@&)($@
fall aslp in chemistry, falling aslp in chinese.
first sentence classmate talk to me is, "are you very sleepy?!"
somemore got homework today. LS compo, a subj that i nvr learn in my life.
duno how to do. ):
T____T god, please pity me and let me off from this cruel life, at least gimme some friend in sch or smth :X

ayeayeaye. i miss baby and besides that nothing else in mind.
bye!

a hollow sphere

2009-12-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

yawnyawn* so tired.

nothing much today. faster saturday and let me sleep please.
i can like fall aslp anywhere on the street. hahs (:

left like few bucks again.
i use $200 per week? mad.
aiya nothing to blog about, no inspiration today.
my blog feels so deaddzxzx, even thru i opened it a little bit.. :X

i have make up my mind already, and wont think too much.
much better, carrying so many things up feels so fk up.
(:

so goodnights all! goodnights baby <3
am going to sleep already!

feelings

2009-12-08T01:00:00.000-08:00

one word to explain my feeling:
disappointed.

finally finish school!
today change seat, and was hoping for a better seat for more socialble people,
but turn out worst. sigh, whatever!

really exercise alot today,
was late for school for 3 minutes, run like a mad dog, saw the gate closing but didnt manage to make it.
sobs.
after school took bus home,
saw a quite interesting thing (:

there was a retarded guy, those really retarded brain got problem de.
when he got off the bus, he say byebye to the driver and everyone else on the bus.
(very loudly, everyone can hear cos not those very big bus.)
then my first reaction was,
he is so retarded -_-

but then i start to feel ashame of my reaction.
after i think about it on the bus,
i start to feel abit respect him, at least he still had that warm heart inside.
taking it out and give it to others, how many people in this world actually do this?
i wonder, when im young, did i do silly things like this too? :X

in this modern society, everyone seems to have this wall inside their heart.
strangers and strangers everywhere,
neighbours living next to eachother but still duno their names after yrs.
family carrying motive to eachother.
lack of communications everywhere because nobody want to take the first step.
first thing our mind tells us when we talk to a person is :
"what motive is this guy carrying? dun believe him safer."

because afraid of getting hurt, we choose not to believe anymore.
seems like its not a choice for us anymore, it is a must, a way to survive this society.
which also carry this sorrow to the next stage.

maybe that boy on the bus, because most of us wont do such "stupid" thing, thats why this thing become stupid.
maybe, he would have give up saying sooner or later too.
but if at that moment, people reply his greeting with a smile,
would things be diffierent?

which leave myself another unanswer question,
if yrs ago people reply me with a smile too, will i be the same today?

so today basically whole day im thinking of this no point things after lit lesson.
i hate lit lesson, it teaches about modern society.
and im so paying attention at it during that specific lesson.
i dunwannnnnn, make me think so much! >:(

when can i escape this period of hard time,
make me wonder.
when everything in life is going downturn,
really want to find a place where i can have some peace without anybody,
maybe just a shoulder, so that i could cry and scream all this stress out.
i wan to study psycology but i think i nid a treatment myself first ._.
sigh.. staring back at my own eyes,

only see one word. TIRED. lols :X

我的能耐

2009-12-06T23:08:00.000-08:00

through life threw me curves,
you made it all worth while.

money and happiness, only can choose one mah?
hmm, this is what i learn from reality after my 16 yrs of life.
sometimes, you dun even have a choice. like me. ):

我是白痴嗎？　－＿－
我的心到底可以承受多大的痛。
我也到底能承受多大的壓力。
真到想看看我的能耐。　

today, another lonely day.
in this school, am so not looking forward to recess or lunchtime.
am actually rather had lesson. lols ._.
finally finally survived another day.
today's weather is so bad.

see never cheat you,
4pm and the street light is already on.
the weather give you that feeling that the world is going to end.
the grey clouds covering sun's lightray from shining down to the earth.
just grey and misty everywhere.

SAME AS MY MOOD.

this is the place i live, hahs (:

never deny that am getting fatter and fatter,
but whatever. ~

ate almost half a can in a day. pro anot :X

2 weeks more to holiday.
jiayoujiayou me!

seeing the msg you left for me,
really make my heart filled with this hope and encouragement towards life.
so i chose to call, obviously the wrong choice.
why my itchy hand choose to press that button,
why am i just so stupid and naive.
why did i give that phonecall a chance to corrupt my faith.
whywhywhy.
why is this world so many unanswered questions.

sigh. wtf am i doing -_-

我介意我因為你而變得懦弱變得容易落淚

2009-12-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

how much more effort do i need to say,
to keep the most unshakable decision.

感覺上，和你的距離又好像多了一節。
心中卻只感到一股無奈。。
因為我什麼都不能做，只能默默地忍耐這一點一滴的痛苦。
他的生活從來就不包括我，我又有甚麼好說的。
為什麼我的愛就是和別人不一樣，可是卻一樣這麼的痛？

finally back home, so i could post photos and post.
didnt do much today beside rotting infront of the com and went out for lunch alone.
ahma give me money for lunch even thru i insist of not taking,
she see me sit at com till noon still dunwan eat so she force me to go eat ._.

i got so much money.
go out lunch and did some shoppings :x
ate mcdonald. haha, and bought a sony headphone.
$50 ley! but you tink i care here? haha!
feel so high wearing my headphones and converse shoe.
weee <3!

this is the new headphone ^^

this is the converse shoe, abit regret this thru i buy too rush ):

happy~

can i be not myself awhile,
can i be selfish and give that temper of mine,
just for awhile,
cos i cant seem to cope that small fire in me when i just keep using paper to cover it,
when my whole body is telling me its not okay.

sigh.

明明。。

2009-12-05T04:08:00.001-08:00

i squared my shoulders and walked forward to meet my fate,
with my destiny solidly at my side.

photos would be uploaded tmr.
:) edited*

so cute, they are all bread! haha (:

snoopy's world, (tell you its super boring i went in before)

im so fking bored. ):
its only like 10.43pm, i rotted for 4 hrs already.
miss baby so much, without him no one talk to me, cant blame them, saturday is a go out day mah.

i went out today too okay. (:
for like 3 hrs. less then rotting time, nvm.
today i wake up its already 1pm, am so happy that mother didnt wake me up. ^^
then met father at some shopping centre,
ate lunch and went shopping in supermarket,
my atm is here ofcos must buy more, supermarket also can buy SGD$100 de things.
lols! :X

then went ahma hse for dinner cos he nid go off already.

i want go back sg nah. ._.
keep having the feeling that im just staying here for one month, just like always.
keep having to remind myself that its forever that im staying.
hai shi suan le, just let my mind think that its a neverending one month then.

sometimes i think im quite weird,
cos i do enjoy the feeling of being alone.
plug both earpierce into the ears and drown into own's world,
but am happy that i got this ability ^^

really very bored ley, spent 30 mins typing this liao.
lying infront of my computer and listening to jaychou again. ~.~

what did i get myself into now, saw gekluo les online so click to find her entertain me.
then she tell me she crying so i had to comfort her. *actually dunwan to*
sigh, am such a bad friend.
)):
didnt think her problem is anything compare to mine.
fine, each person had their own problems. who i am to judge them.
im like saying such chim things to her, to me she is just immature, not like im very..
but, :X C&P to entertain myself for saying such good stuff like this. hahs.

A Replacement Always ... 說: idk le larhs i now letting my thoughts running wild i e ven now want do something stupid

★Ashley ™ ; ' Looking forward to 2012. 說: CANNOT you die le i how
A Replacement Always ... 說: find someone else to go on with life i feel like dying or somethng

★Ashley ™ ; ' Looking forward to 2012. 說: dun liddat la, will pass de (: this sadness youre feeling nw theres many times i tink of dying too, now bu shi hao hao de problems and saddness are made for us to overcome so we must stay strong, cannot lose to them!

A Replacement Always ... 說: WHY MY MUM LIKE THIS ?

★Ashley ™ ; ' Looking forward to 2012. 說: questions like this, theres no answers. can only blame on fate if your mum is like this, then you shld think of ways to overcome this feeling you are feeling now, and not blame on your fate of why having a mom like this, cause it wont change anything you shld tink of ways to make your life better, not dwelling on your sorrows

A Replacement Always ... 說: IDK I WANT CRY

★Ashley ™ ; ' Looking forward to 2012. 說: cry then, cry finish its a new start (:

A Replacement Always ... 說: I WANT NEW COMPUTER

★Ashley ™ ; ' Looking forward to 2012. 說: slowly lor, not like you had no computer to use see me, until now this dun have a computer that i can say is myself duno how long le

im like blabbling rubbish on my blog.

i miss you baby, cant seems to live without you.
imagining what would i become if there wasnt you to rely on mentally.
wondering what you are doing now,
are you thinking of me too? ):

feels so down, cant find a reason to liften this mood.
but if i cant even bring a smile to my own's face,
how can i bring one to baby's too?

認識你是我一生中最幸運的事。 ♥

You the Northstar.

2009-12-04T06:24:00.000-08:00

sch picnic day.
so boring and tiring.
they actually ask us to climb hill and sea rocks.
that is so not call picnic la @*$&@
and i wear my new converse shoe to climb hill -_-
kill me please. my new shoe change look in one day. *heartbroken
got one guy dam funny, keep scolding cos his fren ask him wear one $800 dollars shoe come climb hill. LOL!

i think the boring part is had no friends to go with me lo,
bus also had to sit alone. sigh. ):
but nvm got my mp3 so not so sian, but the stupid jaychou song make my tears drop out.
was hoping that weili or ruth suddenly appear beside that empty seat.
flashbacks of how they hug me when i cry in sch.
ahhhhh. switched to techno, feels better.

the group games was abit more fun,
hahs. kardy, the girl that i say super takecare of me one horh,
she offer to walk with me around after lunch,
but feels abit guity ._. sigh
cos we wont talk much when she is wif me, like not fun liddat.
i would rather walk alone and emo myself manzxzx.

some childish thing i did there, make a wish on an angel.
yup thats my wish, it include many things de ma :X

the place i went today (: dun worry there wont be a second time!

they say no photo taking so i die also must take.
LOL! im so bad :X

yawnnn*
i wonder if ppl feels more tired during winter.
its sooooo cold i feel like hiding in my blanket and sleepzxzx.
wonder where is my baby.
miss him so much lahs _@($$@ so late also nvr online.
T__T
wan call him but hai shi man man wait hao le.
go bath first! tmr can sleeeeeep like noon. im so happy!

极爱往往带来极恨。

2009-12-03T06:29:00.000-08:00

真想来一场刻骨铭心的爱情。

another tiring day. only can go home at 6pm?!
12 hours in school, ahhhhhh!
tmr is finally weekend. omgzxzx. <: must start to adapt to this campus life. i duno how i get myself into choir >.>
they are really mad.
the stupid teacher wan me to sing the whole song when i never even hear before @_&$@$
C-r-a-z-y!

winter always had short daytime.
i dun like it, its already so cold and the sun is gone. ):
tmr is picnic day.
can wear own clothes! hahs :)
i went bought a pair of converse shoes. tmr take pic post :D

baby still haven online,
im so bored! miss him and his voice so much.
but yawn* tired. i wan to sleep already lahs.

i love you :)

寂寞

2009-12-02T08:08:00.000-08:00

finally remembered to blog, my life this few days are so boring.
hahs :)

make some friends in school, they are quite nice.
keep scare i will feel bored cos i always dun talk much.
appreciated but wont change anything.

today last lesson got one music lesson, they teach you how to sing.
i cant believe i had to perform tmr ( 3 songs ) when i just join the class today.
are they asking for the impossible?
mad -_-ll

sigh.
today early day off at 1pm.
then went home and have a nap,
wake up went for my facial. still feel so tired though.

ate my favourite ice crean after school. its soooooo good!

the ice cream van. :D:D
special isnt it?

寂寞寂寞寂寞.
feels like hell here.
guess the only thing i look forward is talk to my baby.

):

goodnights everyone, goodnights laogong (L)

Day by day.

2009-11-30T06:05:00.000-08:00

1st day of school finally ended.
*faints.

3 words to explain my feelings now T.T
tired, cold, unwell.
too lazy to change my topic again, wait till tmr ba {:

from 8.10am to 4pm.
what kind of school life is this?!?
start later but still had to wake up at 6am cos had to queue dam long for bus.
why is hk ppl all so chio?!
i go school the minute i look at myself at the mirror feel like finding a hole and hide inside -_-
with that ugly school uniform. sigh'
tmr PE no need wear that ugly uniform ^^

had not been feeling very well this few dayszxzx..
wrong days at getting sick again,
hk school rules is even more mad then singapore one. (-_-'')
not the hair and appearance part,
but then handing in homework and skipping class etc.

its like only tuesday tomorrow,
already looking forward to friday ):
busy life, so not use to it.

sorry baby not much time chat with you anymore,
but my love for you wont fade liddat (L)
this is not say say only, will try my best to show you (:
am not only confident, is very sure. :D

goodnights!

New born blog.

2009-11-29T06:49:00.001-08:00

finally almost done with my blog - skin.
due to my baby's request i went back to troublesome blogger :D
*faints.

my summery & timeline for this new born blog :

-spend an hr plus on exploring what is twitter and stare at other ppl's twitter bar.
-create this fabulous twitter bar and find out how to make it come out @ right place.
-find a suitable skin to match my king twitter bar.
-modity the ugly yellow (before) fonts to white (now).
-find nuffnang ads and music
-create suitable facebook badge, it still looks wrong thru (wrong length). <-- give up.
-transfer info from jugem to blogger.
-transfer links, too lazy to transfer all.

give up and continue tmr for title and all.

goodnightssss, love you my one and only baby <3.
remember to sleep early! (L)