Mark of blame.

.
.

The taste of fear, for the future, past and .. maybe present.
i found out more and more things that i shldnt know,
people who are not close & close to me.


It feels horrible, like smth predicted's gonna to happen. ): .

Tales of Lies.

When there's light, there's darkness.
no matter how i look at it, feels like my soul is just envelop by sugar.
Do you know, the great Devil Lucifer was once an Angel? (:




it had been another week since i posted- !
so, this is the long wait-ed ------ MY POST!
lols, -o-ll


yesterday i didnt go sch! did-not-go-schooool!
WEEEEEEEEEEEe, im so happy , yet not.
coz something happened in the morning.
3 days holiday <3. style="font-family:yui-tmp;">有一天，父母對兒子說：「你乖，你乖的話爸媽就多疼愛你」僅有三、四歲的兒子不太明白，也帶點不甘的道：「那麼算是真正的疼愛嗎？不乖就不疼愛了嗎？」這話嚇倒了父母，他們沒有想過僅有三、四歲的兒子，竟說出了這樣的話。

小事一樁，卻帶出人人都忽略了的道理。

大家有試過對情人的轉變，而對對方感情轉淡嗎？情人總會說：「你變了，你以前不是這樣的。」似乎人人都會抱怨，情人有些事兒，比起以前不夠體貼，不夠溫柔，不夠體諒，不夠好。接著，開始埋怨；然後，就是轉淡；過後；可能是分開；甚至，演變成憎恨。

再想想上述的故事，小孩子清楚的帶出了一個道理：不乖就不疼愛了嗎？不好就不愛了嗎？愛，是要條件的嗎？

要是愛侶不如往昔般對你好，就要捨棄了嗎？真正的愛，不該如此吧？其實大家都應該很清楚上述故事，對於兒子的問題，一定是「不」。因為父母不可能因為自己的小孩不夠乖巧而不再愛他們。因為那就是真正的愛。

那麼你對你身邊的愛侶呢？真的愛嗎？有沒有想過，假若有一天，對方對你的好，不如往昔，或者不合符你心中所想，你還會愛他嗎？

假如你的答案是「不」，那麼，你是愛他的人，還是愛他對你的好？

愛情從來就是騙人的東西。

說話可以假、感情可以假，連對方眼中的缺點都不知何故會變成優點。

即使雙方的相處也如是。

相愛時咀裡總會說著要坦坦白白，可是到對方坦白的時候，有多少人可以接受對方說自己錯?!
即使心甘，也總會有刺，覺得無奈、覺得無助。

結果慢慢地，為了不讓這種事情發生，大家都把真說話止住了。騙對方、騙自己，把說話用糖衣包起，變成了甜言蜜語，避開真實，躲進快樂的幻象，卻默默地讓感情步向死亡。
愛情，可真像軟性毒品呢。

到底自己是想讓對方坦白內心的想法，誓要一起解決問題?
還是只想對方哄你說佈滿糖衣的謊話呢?

So, another week of fun and laughter is gone.
i suddenly again feel soooooo far away from happiness.
thinking abt sch tmr, *faints* .


manage to spend 3 hrs today to chiong finish all my homework.
i won the devil inside me and manage not to chiong inside A.V.A instead <3
*determined to own junior in AVA in few days more*
but sch start cannot train abit hard uh ):

sad. aye, whatever.
i grew off the desire for money TOTALLY,
did not even bother to open my hongpaos, just throw them all into a box.
rofl. when i nid it i shall find all of you :D

and and and I BOUGHT A NEW HANDPHONE MYSELF.
start to regret......... coz its too hard to use. i got problem typing a msg.
same as Junior anw, LD crystal, GB900.


So, in a week i heard two people telling me that,
"girl, life is not just like this" .
then like what ?

Im flirt? just shows how shallow you people are to me. (?)
omg, i seems so unfriendly. :B

Beautiful Determination!

So, the first day of the lunar new year, i stayed at home till 5pm then head out for ahma hse.
junior went to malaysia, so no one webcam with me \-o-/ sian.


and therefore i got lots of time ALONE <: And i spent 2 hrs of these time looking thru 600 plus msg that he sent me in my inbox,
determined to drag myself out of the past, first must start from these useless msges that i dun bare to delete.
i felt pain from inside out while deleting these one by one,
all the empty words. it just hurt so so much.


Smile at my determination today, *claps*. ^o^
(: bye.


After going thru 4 months of heaven/hell (?) ,
i found myself completely injured.

Lifelong Endurance.

its a never-ending path.


happy valentines day and chinese new year everyone (: .

in this boring hongkong without friends.
got more things to do which is to visit family members and more complicating matters.
family members, all just add stress and more stress to me.
sitting in the middle of a crowd, except for being more self-conscious about manners in eating, i guess not much.


So, He feel asleep when webcam-ing with me,
and i went rehearing all the old jaychou songs.
they're still so good at helping you think about serious matters.

i cried just nw, yet i dun feel as sleepy.
that expression, kept appearing in my mind.
i cant help, but think of how would i feel if im in his shoe'
rising so much courage to ask, getting such a shyt answer.

i really grew alot, if its me in the past, i would have nob my head long ago without much thinkings.
i duno if its good or bad, i start to think further,
maybe its how i was taught, to stop being that childish silly girl.
yet i lost the confidence, that tiny hope in others, wishing that they're just do as they promise.


and now, saying that i'll go sleep but writing this crap that i dun know shld post anot.
somehow, i feel so afraid to post emo things after that.
just totally disappointed at myself for everything.
friendship too.
i dun even have the heart to look for sandy's peasant since christmas.
and ruth's ..


hais, dun say le. ): .

when true love fall upon you,
are you able to receive it?

I'll break the stars for you.

vivi and orhorh.





its finally holiday after a long wait.
just before im going to slp, suddenly feel like blogging :D
dun really have smth in mind, just blabbling nonsense here.


today is a fine day, except that my class lose in basketball in my disappointment..
just just just 1 fking score to champion T_T
sobszx.
and so i got hyper after that exciting match and become abit more talkative then usual for the rest of the day :x


AND AND, i received my valentines present before valentine,
WOW la. :x hehs.
happy happy happppppppppppy!

Fate beckons the obvious suffering.

let the picture say everything i want to say :D.