To you.

so tired, yet not tired.
last day of school tmr (:

im sorry love.

(:

Finished my homework after 3 hrs, very tired.
feeling guilt in my head.

Happiness.

i am happy (: .


p.s. pasts are to be forgotten.

i hate blog, but i cant not to anyway.

the pain is rooted in me so deep that a phone call could dig it all up again.
i hate to admit it, but all he said in the past was all revealed again.

he say,
no guys like to see their girlfriend to write emo posts, coz they doesnt want to know that the girl is still feeling so unhappy upon being with them.
i thought someone in love with me would like to know what i really feels,
but i made a mistake, coz its not true.


he kind of scolded me just now.
the person who says he will nvr get angry or hurt me scolded me.
fine, scold in a not so rude manner.
i can see he is trying his best, coz its really my fault.

but his speech stuck me cold.
my heart froze, pain floating underneath my skin.
he reminds me of how Rave use to scold me everyday.
the exactly same feeling.


i feel so afraid and scare.
i hate blogging.

Call it Fate.

a post before i sleep (:

why, i feel like im still living in the past.
just like how im so not use to the life now.
something in the past that i held so tightly on,
and lost that persistent as time passed.


like that video that i posted on facebook today.
the me few months ago would NEVER post it out so openly,
shouting at ruth that day for trying to get it on youtube.
yet today, i actually posted it up on my own.


time, every minutes and seconds, seems to be ever lasting.
but the truth is, nothing is ever lasting.
things that you're persisting now might not matters at all after time.


trying my best, im trying all so hard alone.
cant anyone understand?

Cant stop the randomness.

11 more days (:
time really flys, even when it is not enjoyable at all.
lols.


this annoying ava music is floating into my ears (coz i dont bare to off it)
i spend lots of effort to finally get in and that person actually fell aslp like always (?)
can feel why im so fking pekcek.

forget it.
i cant let this prob continue destroying my emotions, CANNOT!
someone need to be the one mending the prob anw.
if he's not going to change, i guess i need to do smth abt it ): .

sigh.
i'll just go into my doraemon show that i haven finish ytd then!
the movies are just soooo good that none of them fail to not make me cry. hehehe.


edited-
finished doraemon and toaru kagaku no railgun's last episode.
i know the name sux. f3
so bored now, still need to wait 15 mins to harvest my flower then can slp.
sounds mad, but i just cant let ppl steal one flower of mine okay?!

lols :X
so i'll blog abit longer.
finding random ppl to talk to in msn now.
getting all sarcastic about anime, lame.
i feel like i just wasted my this one day holiday away without doing anything satisfying.
didnt get to improve my shooting skills too (althru i secretly played one game and won so easily that it feels so sianzxzx) :/


okay 10 more mins, i successfully wasted 5 mins... -o-
IM SO BORED CAN. SO BOREDDDDDDd.
-'-

-
argued with ruth, boosted with weili, feeling horrible abt friendship now.
why the hell is my time so limited?!!!!!
tearing between this smelly faces that im typing out, stupid. -o-

another week of school, and a camp full of annoying boys.
and then maybe i could get some fun after so long and forget abt all these shyt.


p.s. i saw rainie yang today!

None,

Finally finished the first day of sch after the exam holidays (:
got back my papers, wasnt so bad after all.
only failed chem, and eng lit got much better then i had expected.
hope i could drop everyday except eng lit now :x


Another tiring week next week and i could have my 10 days fantasy.
only 10 days of fun in a whole yr of hardwork. isnt it abit too little ):

sigh, bi went to sleep again. i didnt get angry thru, can see that he is very tired.
which means if his school start, he is going to get more tired.
hope our feelings for each other wont fade, fear draining thru my body. )))): .


what can i do, other then just push my luck harder ): .

Hoping as it is.

Its 15 days away from my big day.
air ticket had been done.
it seems so close, so near, so realistic,
but somehow still feel the urge to stop my hopes from overwhelming.

what if something went wrong?
what if it doesnt go as i plan it to be?
horrible discouragements appear in my cheered mind.
but.

"i am different from the others," he said.
and i believed.


humans, just like to kept on believing.
there's no such things call "i dunwan to believe anymore"
coz even you dun wan to believe,
a place deep inside your heart, you know you still do.


(:

weird.

Fearful Existence.

It has been another week, and im a step closer to my dream.
.
.
17 days later ;D

just received bi's keychains for me yesterday.
am so happy to collect them :D hang it around my keys already, hehs.
this moment, i feel so loved. (:


so, im so free to blog here coz bi AGAIN went to sleep like he always do,
i dont know whats wrong with his body about dozing off in the middle of a conversation,
coz thats so rude. :B just kidding.

whatever, i got used to it anyway. (like real)
I WILL TRYYYYYYYYYYYY HARDER OKAY. -o-

just watched a flim "Legion" after he intro-ed me.
christian please dun watch it, its not so good commenting on god.
im not a christian but i dun really deny the existence of god,
will there really a day that God will give up on her children?


"Come, Ye children, Listen to me,
I will teach you the fear of the Lord. "
PSALM 34:11

is the bible really shows the entirely goodness of God?
forget it.
aiyo, this kind of complicated things dun think better! :B


faster 17 days come jiu hao! WEE!

Speedy Warrior.

life is like this too, things around us are so fast that it became unclear.
before we knew it, it had already passed.

Contradiction.

sometimes, being understanding is so hard.
i know exactly what to do, yet i couldnt bring myself to do it.
This contradict-ive feeling, i hate it! (&$@@$

So, another week of school had passed.
exam started and i sat here doing nothing while my classmate is facebook-ing me whr they had studied to.

nothing to say,

Recurrence

I miss the past, i hate the present.
.
.
.
i miss that ugly MG sch uniform that shows no body shape,
i miss the times when everyone gather to copy homework,
i miss the times when i get half drunk everyday and ruth had to carry me home,
i miss those bitches that talked behind my back before,
i miss those little childish things that i had done,


i miss them all.

was flipping thru some non-close people that i know's fb,
althru there arnt my face in it, but i still felt memories rushes thru my oh-so-calm mind.