Saturday, January 22, 2011

360

Today, my life changed 360 degrees.
There's no free lunch in this world, even happiness has a price to pay.
I am seriously not pointing fingers at anyone..
Trying to slp to forget all those unhappy things again but failed unfortunately..
This time, I didn't cry. But it felt even worst then crying, it's like everything is compress into a small thing in my stomach.
So I tried to force myself to, but it's not really working so.. It's quite bad.

Everyone's treating my feelings like hotel, comes and go. It was my fault, I knew they was just playing with my feelings, I know. He even warn me before, indirectly. I remember every word he says so damn clearly. Yet, I still choose to step into shyt. I was happy, but not for long, and I'm paying it all back now, obviously.

I mean nothing to him, maybe even a bunch of grass in his garden would mean would mean smth to him, but nt me. I'm nt even a damn friend of his, im just nothing.

Lord, maybe I Shldnt even ask for your help now. I only talk to you when I need help, I'm so selfish.. Trying to live my own way all along.. Hurting other people, hurting myself.. I Duno what I'm doing.. I feels like I'm just a stupid, naive, horrible little girl, so ashame of myself..

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1 comment:

Z said...

i have never treated u as a hotel at all. You are just like half of heart. If i will to lose you, i am just like now. Can't breathe properly, just like I now could live my life happily.