Happy New Year.

原來，有時候，
當一個人無論怎樣也愛不了你的時候，
一句 "我愛你"，
永遠只會是一個奢侈的期盼。



some feelings, can be forgotten very easily,
you just need to not think and touch it.


single and antisocial life could be sooooo interesting.
haha. i had a good start in 2010 thanks to some idiots. :D

briefly explain what i did :
flirt with A and chat with O after countdown.
well, kind of me counting down on my own -o-''
coz i cant handle 2 chatbox in that short 10 seconds.

its like counting 10 to 3 with gekluo,
and 3 to 0 with O.

both of them didnt count with me, so they only say
HAPPY NEW YEAR! at zero. -o-''


yesh, this is my new emotionnn.
idc if anyone is already using it but i invented it on my own ^o^
hahaha.


tried gunbound with S.
i hate his fking attitude on using hack on a noobie (me).
but nvm, i laughed like siao.
it is quite fun. :x



ss for you tmr. :D bye. off to gunboard~

The beginning of another end.

if you ask me if i think a person will change yrs ago..
i will answer you "no".


so if any of my girlfriends ask me "do you think my bf will change for me?"
i will tell her to stop dreaming coz if he change pigs also will fly.


but then if you ask me the same question now.. i will answer "maybe."
haha, what make this change?

well, coz im a good example of the word changed.
from a bitch who go around brking ppl's heart 2 yrs ago, to
someone who go around letting ppl break my heart.

haha funny, but its true okay!

so now, when im chatting with my ex-boyfriends in MSN,
we would eventually lead the conversations to the bitch things that i did..
and i would simply answer them
.
.
.
"I CHANGED LE OKAY!"

haha (: .



***

anw, happy new year coz its like the last day of the year 2009.
i decided to celebrate it with gekluo baby and O on MSN.
yeah, we are going to have countdown tgt <3 style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">


he seems so happy, how can i bare to break his heart.
but betraying my own feelings?

Cannot think of any title.

just finish reading xiaxue's love story, (like once every 3 mths)
and im glad i went in to read an entry today. AHHH! feel so high now.
thanks for sharing yea ((:

This story about you two seriously lifted up my day and reminded me that real love in this world does exist, and if you wait long enough for the right one, youll know when its time. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and i wish you two happiness forever =)

one of the comments that people give..
too lazy to read all so i'll just take one that my eyes see and feel its touch.
and this is what she say in her blog which i tink its a good share for stupid girls like me and maybe you ^o^

So if you would like advice, I'd say go for the unassuming geek (or perhaps not so suave guy) who only has eyes for you, and give him a chance! Stop loving bad boys right now! Unless you are the sort who likes relationship drama/cheater/lying bitch etc then please don't date the good guys and turn them cynical, thank you very much.

yeah, this comment is give me de. LOL!
blog also can know dao boyfriend.. hmm, thats a good try :/
alrights, angmo boyfriend im waiting for you. ^o^
LOLLLLLL. laugh die me. that ruth hai de la.


daphy say this to me in msn,
hao kai xin <3 xiexie.

booت ミ*♪,, 難過的潮濕猶如大雨僵滯 ,,♥*ミ 說:
好逞强.. 我好心疼
不要逞强ok?
我会一直借你肩膀靠的~~
为你*惜惜*眼泪
我要走了.. 答应我不要想不开 好吗
我很担心地
加油~~ 掰掰

Scarred Memories

So, this is something that i spend 2 hrs on ^o^
editting it into this.

like cool uh? i wan play water motorcycle too!
hahaha. but why edit finish become blur blur ah.





i really should stop hurting xdd. -_-
but why do i still miss you.

you know what is the reason people cut themselves?
not because they want to feel physical pain to cover up the pain in their heart or whatever.

or at least for me when i cutted yrs ago,
it is because it is something to remind yourself that you will never commit the same mistake again when you see that particular scar on your body.

i had a scar on my body, yet i still commited the same mistake,
why.

Morning Horizon.

another money spending day.
and that handsome hunk in my msn cheer up half of my day.
LOL!

really very handsome you know, half sg half amercian.
i rmb-ed his and his ex's half naked photo is gone along with my laptop. (american style i guess, he post it big big on pserver forum)
he is a pserver friend which i know duno how many yrs ago who suddenly speak to me in msn and say:
"my girl dump me, the first chinese i dated"

coz duno how many yrs ago he told me "im not interested in asians".


see! this is an example of PEOPLE DO CHANGE.
im just being random. :D
and why is american so fking weird.

okay. im outta words.
off to restaurant city :D

and photos!







哭过了，就算了吧。哭得再多，也都没有用。泪流得再多，也不能快乐一点。因为爱你，所以我不给你任何困扰。因为爱你，所以我情愿自己难过。因为爱你，所以 我改变了自己。爱上一个人，如此甜蜜却又让人受伤。放弃一个人，如此的难过却又让人心碎。当缘分要来的时候，你如何挡也挡不住可是，当缘分要逃跑的时候， 你如何留也留不住。

YES I COPY&PASTE THIS FROM SOME CHIOBU'S BLOG.
(:


will you disappoint me like the rest of the world,
this is not a question.

It feels as if you didnt exist before.

kind of losted the motivation to blog.
totally into restaurant city today <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzaF6iHU0LBKZgeq0ayEGDKdYCGP3XEq5xuLwcUPRRNoHBRpGZmXRFYDOFa5vSAjSI10-YdaqBfeXHF6eM6OY-8gqJ8qDUqKppiJSubKZwelgjjS3bGHxESjRyKiQjLCzhhMQRCbWg_CFC/s1600-h/restaurantcity3.JPG">



really feels like all devoted guys in earth had fly to mars.
even my darling jc kor which is that Mr Nice Guy that i open my eyes to seeee for the past three years,
actually dump his ex for another girl.
see! this just shows im blind like always.


i always wondered why people spent so much effort achieving what live forever rubbish,
in the past, you know you always see those tv.

~.~
when i just cant wait to die.

got a person died of alcohol poisoning today, on news.
drunk also can die <:
coz there is so much alcohol that the brain forgot to breathe.
flashbacks of that that day when i drank with ruth (x.


fine, it is stupid to look forward to death.
hahahaha. im happy!


cant anyone see im a -sooo- fake person?
just cover up all the "haha" and "!" change to "."

there, that is the real me (((:.

Hopes faltering into oblivion.

let me briefly explain what i do this christmas with supporting evidence :D
actually cannot rmb what i did, so just look at the pics :D




















things that i bought.






from this post onwards, i dun tink am going to write abt my life much :x
except photos, coz i like to take rubbish things.

to me, blog is a platform that let authors and readers to share their thoughts, feelings, point of view etc.
anything but your doings, i mean which idiot is interested in your life.
just look at the number of my comments, you know what i mean.
i used to write them just to let my bf see, so that he could know more abt me blah.
now no nid le ba :x

see, im actually sharing my feelings now instead of writing abt what i did today.
:x


one last thing!
This is a vow:

I here SWEAR that i would not fall in love with any MALES at least until 31/12/2010.
otherwise i not call ashley lau! hmph!

i feel soo excited. <:

Thankyou.

its like 2am already. haha.
duno he sleep le mei you. hmmm.


made him so angry that he deleted me from msn,
maybe this should be done much earlier.
just that i always dun have the courage to..

suprisingly i feel abit happy..
i didnt cry, i didnt feel sad over it at all.
this should be the way man ! jiayou ! :D


i guess, you will be hating me now.
love and hate, this shld be the way after all. (:

and i wont blog abt you anymore too.
this would be the last.
In this world, there's no such thing call i cannot live without anyone,
so, i'll show you i can become strong too!
i wan you to be proud that im someone you were in love once before (:


thankyou so much! (L).

Jingle Bells.

im so amused.


this christmas isnt so bad after all ^o^
wake up early in the morning at 8am to meet brandon in hongkong!
coz he gtg at 12 to airport.
treat him to breakfast, then he treat me eat herbal jelly,
chat chat under his hotel then leave.

wee! even thru it is just a short 2 hrs and 40 mins,
that make my other half of boring day. haha!
thankyou (:


so end of this yr christmas.
bad but not so bad.


i kind of abit believe in ruth's retribution. lols :x
coz i was such a bad person.

felt so relax of finally having a reason to let go.
time will wash away the remindings, i always believe that. (:

laughs.

Merry Christmas everybody!


my wishes this year are :
1) he can be happy every single day.
2) i can be happy every single day.

is christmas suppose to have wishes? ^o^
nvm, this is my new year wish.. children's day wish.. birthday wish.
all same la! haha!


as you can see, im so bored blogging here.
most of my msn friends went out to celebrate christmas, so is he.
even dun dare talk see him online also happy de ma :x

tried to socialise with some guys online.
tried to put my heart inside and talk but didnt manage to succeed.
coz winter hand cold cold put under my butt and keep warm.
so see the msn blink blink too lazy to take out from warmless and reply.
and stare at tv for 1 whole hr or more,
so not replying those weirdos for 1 hr.

just no feel la. no f-e-e-e-e-e-l ! understand?! stop saying i didnt try! -_~
if he talk to me, minus how many degrees also reply ^o^!
lols, baichi!



is my photography skills good ? :D


first time i bravely face instead of escaping,
the truth is so pain.

the worst christmas.

i swear this is the worst christmas ever.

hopeless beyond words, explaining is troublesome and meaningless,
so i'll save it (:


.
.
.

我喜歡你.

finally home after such a long day out.
im sorry readers, im afraid this is going to turn out an emo post ltr.
you can choose to stop reading after the photos, or not read at all :D
not feeling the best now. hahs ((:

went back home for that little little few mins just to put down things.
then held for ahma's house to have family dinner.
christy invited me to watch new moon tgt, just like i asked.
it is 9am in the morning, which means i had to wake up at 7am.
i agreed yesterday night, but then change my mind this morning.
not like i cant wake up, just open my eyes and think..
what the hell im doing, going so fking far just to watch a flim,
that i had already watched in the website, and its not so fantastic that i will like to watch again.
and its not like im going with the people i know im going to enjoy.

so, why do i still choose to go.
just to make myself socialise? it is just so stupid.







today, was on mrt when i saw this little girl with her bicyle.
which brings me back to the past,
that little girl learning to ride a bicycle.
the past.. seems like its just yesterday.
i used to be so brave, so looking forwarad to challenges,
im not afraid of falling down, which makes me learning faster then other kids in the neighbourhood.

where's this me? coz i want to find it back so much.
yet its gone. only hiding in this deep corner of me.

feel myself so chaotic. i know i need to pick myself up at where im fallen, yet, i just kept doing the opposite.



我喜歡你每天罵我的聲音，
我喜歡我們常常為了無聊的事吵架，
我喜歡你弄我哭後逗我笑，
我喜歡沒見過面卻這樣愛我的你。
我真的好愛好愛你！


為什麼相愛都是這麼的困難？
why do i still believe in this world's lies.
not a single broken relationship is worth you questioning yourself,
so i guess all others could say is,
"there will be alot of handsome guys in hk waiting for you!"


this song, 爱不单行 reminds me of how i use to like you.
我爱过几个人, 也被爱过几遍
却还是没能将幸福留下。

The nostradamus prophocies.

hi everyone. here's ashley again ^^

just come back from hair treatment.
say byebye to bangs ^____^
spend fking lotszx of money today.

went post office early in the morning to send the preasents off,
all except sandyseah's, (i tink she will get it at chinese new yr.)
lols :X

the post fee is so ex, almost same price as the preasent itself -_-










ofcos, i cant let off the opportunity to take pic with them,
also prove that it is from meeeeee. LOL!





afternoon, queue in a bank for fking 1 whole hr,
coz all their machines is under renovations,
and there arnt another shop near.
what stupid bank is that!?!??!! so regret opening an account there -_-


new release photo of me without fringe.
rare okay? nvr openly show ppl before >:(!



ate macdonald in the afternoon, fat like hell.
i got that that tiny desire of getting a tattoo on my finger suddenly.
LOL! so crazy, if i still held that tot next july,
maybe i'll get it in singapore. :X


Extreme love brings extreme hatred.
yet i dun feel any hate towards you at all, not even a tiny bit.
maybe i didnt love you as much as i tot.

Encore Life.

i wake up so early again.
bth -_-

maybe coz of the too sufficient sleep yesterday night coz of boredom and stopping myself from clicking his namezxzx.

oh well.
i bought a dress ytd with EPS!
ahhhhhh first time im using MY bank card to pay.
so cool, spend money even faster~ sigh ): lols!

still have-not buy sandyseah's shoe,
where the hell is it possible to find flats during winter -_-
mad woman.

i wan find something to do! it is so fking bored. zxzx
games? i dunwan play alone nah T_T
arguing with shawn seems like the only fun things to do,
i just had to keep you hot ;x




how i wish,
you could tell me its just time we need to overcome,
coz you never wan to separate with me.

she was right.
just because i fall in love with someone doesnt give me the privalige to act like someone who lost her mummy.
if you're not ready for this ending, it just tells you how immature you are to even start it.

no gain no loss.

hey, good morning peeps :D

i dunno wth i wake up so early coz theres really no point.
but i just cant sleep rolling on bed for like whole hr.
so i decide to come online as its not good leaving too much alone time for my brian -
:X

i decide not to watch new moon in the cinema,
cos i already complete watching it and its really boring compare to my 海派甜心 drama.
christmas is like less then a week,
and i still have not- send out the presents, so its going to be a belated christmas present.
somemore, i haven even BUY sandyseah's present yet.
not like she bought mine already, and i doubt she is going to.
but people shldnt be so selfish yeah? ^^
okay i'll get it later.

so, better then nothing. \^o^/


i see now, nothing is free in this world.
wad you gain, is wad you lost later.
so is happiness, there's a price to pay.

if so, i wouldnt choose to have anything.
no gain no loss. this shall become my new aspect for life ^_^!


i bu she de take out the weiwei laogong part ley,
it doesnt matter if its there or not right?!
pretend you never see okay? :X

one day i will (:

Field of seasons.

last day of school today~
waaa i go sch so short days also got a preasent ^^
(those everyone also have de la)
lols! better then nothing.

got christmas party after school.
i ate like a pig. really i think people is looking at me with weird eyes like
"why is she taking 3 plates of spagetti and 4 chicken wings"
LOL! free ley, not nice also must stuff inside my stomach!

went home ezlink no more money, had to call mother to go busstop give me money.
was soooo paiseh. oh well \~_~/

finally holiday, smile!
and its like weekend again~
money money all come to my wallet!


some pictures at hollywood plaza for choir ytd.




my breakfast this morning,
i duno why i keep take lame photos like this. ^o^






wiwi, me again :D
my eyes is sooo pretty, gosh :X
LOL! can i please like cut my bangs away.
erxim ley!






continue with my new moon part 2 ^o^
after read finish the book know the ending le the movie like no kick.
sigh! i keep asking ppl in sch if they're going to watch in the cinema.
i doubt its going to be fun going with sch ppl thru :O
but, at least i "went out".

guess what i told my mother today, hahaha!
i tell her, aiya my sch ppl all not my kind, dun go out one.
then she say go out for wad, spend more money only.
then i say money is earn to be spent happily. LOL!
she bo wei gong laaaaazxzx <3 style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">how do we get across the sense of abandonment and heartbreak.